Views— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be more concise and correct repetitive or grammatical errors. Start with a clear topic sentence, then add one or two specific supporting details using linking words. Avoid repetition (e.g., “I spent my time” twice) and use past/present tense consistently. Also vary vocabulary (e.g., calming, soothing, unwind) and correct small grammar mistakes (e.g., “I usually take pictures when I go out” rather than “I used to”).

例: Yes — I love taking photos of different views because it helps me relax and unwind. For example, when I go out I usually take photos of seaside landscapes or city skylines, and then in the evening I edit them to improve the colours and composition.

提案: Clarify your preference and avoid contradicting yourself. The answer currently says you prefer urban areas but then praises rural views (hiking, birds, trees). Decide which you prefer, state it clearly in the topic sentence, and support it with specific reasons and linking words (e.g., however, because, for instance). Use precise vocabulary (e.g., countryside, countryside trails, urban skyline).

例: I prefer photographing rural views because the countryside offers quiet trails and wildlife. For instance, when I go hiking I often photograph birds and old trees, which I find more relaxing and varied than city skylines.

提案: Make the reason more specific and reduce repetition. State the preference clearly, give one or two concrete examples and explain why you prefer them (e.g., familiar culture, unique landscapes). Avoid vague phrases like “I can say” and repeated “here in our country.” Improve grammar (e.g., “many tourists come” instead of “many tourists go here”).

例: I prefer the views in my own country because they are unique and familiar to me. For example, the Mayo volcano attracts many tourists with its dramatic slopes and scenic trails, and I enjoy photographing its changing light at sunrise.

× Also, for example, when I am going out, I used to take pictures of different views and when I go home I spent my time I spent my time looking at it and editing it.

✓ Also, for example, when I go out, I take pictures of different views, and when I get home I spend my time looking at them and editing them.

Mixed and incorrect tenses: 'am going out' (present continuous) is mismatched with 'used to take' (past habitual) and 'go home I spent' (present then past). Use consistent present tense for habitual actions: 'go out' and 'take'. Also 'get home' is more natural than 'go home' in this context. Repetition 'I spent my time I spent my time' is redundant. 'It' should be 'them' because 'pictures' is plural. Suggestion: maintain present simple for habitual routines and ensure pronoun number agreement. Grammar problem type ID:5

× I prefer taking pictures in urban areas because it is peaceful.

✓ I prefer taking pictures in rural areas because they are peaceful.

Content and agreement issue: the student stated preferring urban areas but then described them as peaceful, which conflicts with later statements. Also 'it is peaceful' refers to 'areas' (plural), so use 'they are peaceful' or rephrase to 'because they are peaceful'. If the intent is urban areas, keep 'they are peaceful'. Ensure noun-pronoun agreement in number. Suggestion: match the subject (areas) with plural verb and pronoun. Grammar problem type ID:6

× For example, when we are hiking, I really love taking pictures of birds, trees because for me it is relaxing and it is peaceful rather than in the city.

✓ For example, when we go hiking, I really love taking pictures of birds and trees because, for me, it is more relaxing and peaceful than being in the city.

Use consistent verb form: 'are hiking' is present continuous but habitual action suits 'go hiking' or 'when we hike'. Missing 'and' between 'birds' and 'trees'. Comparison 'rather than in the city' is awkward; use 'than being in the city' or 'than in the city'. Also combine adjectives: 'more relaxing and peaceful'. Suggestion: use 'go hiking' for habitual activities, add coordinating conjunctions, and use proper comparative structure. Grammar problem type ID:8

× I prefer views in my country. I am proud of different views here in our country because I can say that many tourists go here in our country just to see the different views here, especially the Mayo volcano rather than other countries.

✓ I prefer the views in my country. I am proud of the various sights here because many tourists come to our country just to see them, especially the Mayo volcano, rather than visit other countries.

Article errors: use 'the views' or 'the various sights' for specificity. Repetition and awkward preposition use: 'go here in our country' is redundant; use 'come to our country'. Pronoun agreement: 'see the different views here' -> 'see them'. 'Rather than other countries' is unclear; compare actions: 'come to our country... rather than visit other countries.' Suggestion: avoid repetition, use correct articles, and choose proper verbs (come/visit) and pronouns for clarity. Grammar problem type ID:22