Views— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Improve grammatical accuracy, clarity and coherence. Begin with a clear topic sentence, remove filler words (uh, um), and use correct verb forms and vocabulary. Limit to 2–4 concise sentences, add one specific detail about what you like photographing and why, and use linking words for coherence (for example, “because” or “such as”).

例: Yes, I enjoy taking photographs of natural landscapes because they are peaceful and visually striking. For example, I recently visited the Himalayas and took many photos of snow-capped peaks and alpine lakes, which I liked because of their dramatic light and colors.

提案: Make the answer more natural and specific. Start with a direct topic sentence stating your preference, then give 1–2 specific reasons with concrete examples. Avoid vague phrases like “something” and filler words. Use linking words such as “because” and “for example.”

例: I prefer views in rural areas because they offer more natural scenery and tranquillity. For example, in rural regions near the Himalayas I can see varied mountain formations and clear lakes, which you rarely find in busy urban centres.

提案: Clarify and correct grammar, and be specific about reasons. State your preference clearly, give 1–2 concrete reasons (e.g., familiarity, cultural connection, ease of travel) and provide a clear example with correct place name and brief description. Keep it to 2–3 well-formed sentences.

例: I prefer views in my own country because I feel more connected to its landscapes and it is easier for me to travel there. For example, I recently visited the Manang district in the Himalayas, where I enjoyed the rugged mountain scenery and traditional villages.

× Yes, I like to taking pictures for different scenarios builds because I, I'm although it's, I love to take off photos of abused like natural scenery views, Himalayan views, like spoons, uh, bones, like views, uh, recently I had uh, gone to uh, some places where I click, uh, beautiful photos of Himalayas.

✓ Yes, I like taking pictures of different sceneries because I love to take photos of natural scenery, such as the Himalayas. Recently I went to some places where I took beautiful photos of the Himalayas.

The original sentence incorrectly uses the infinitive with 'to taking' instead of the gerund 'taking' after 'like' (Grammar ID 8). There are many other issues such as extraneous words and awkward phrases; these were simplified to produce a grammatically correct, coherent response that fits the present/past context. Suggestions: use 'like taking' (verb + -ing) not 'like to taking'; use simple past 'went' and 'took' for completed actions; remove filler words and unclear fragments to improve clarity.

× I like taking pictures for different scenarios builds because I, I'm although it's, I love to take off photos of abused like natural scenery views, Himalayan views, like spoons, uh, bones, like views,

✓ I like taking pictures of different types of scenery because I love to take photos of natural views, like the Himalayas.

The phrase 'different scenarios builds' is incorrect pluralization and word choice. 'Scenery' is an uncountable noun often used without plural; if countable types are meant, use 'different types of scenery'. Also 'views' and 'scenery' overlap; streamline to 'types of scenery' or 'natural views'. Suggestion: use correct noun forms and match countability.

× recently I had uh, gone to uh, some places where I click, uh, beautiful photos of Himalayas.

✓ Recently I went to some places where I took beautiful photos of the Himalayas.

The original mixes past perfect 'had gone' with present 'click'. For a simple past event, use simple past verbs 'went' and 'took'. Use 'the Himalayas' with definite article. Suggestion: keep tense consistent when describing past experiences.

× Do you prefer views in urban areas or rural areas? Student: In my perspective, I prefer rural areas views because they are naturally beautiful where we can see a great types of Himalayan ruins, many kinds of lakes, uh, where we cannot see good views or something in our urban areas.

✓ In my opinion, I prefer rural views because they are naturally beautiful; we can see many types of Himalayan landscapes and lakes there, which we cannot see in urban areas.

'In my perspective' is an awkward prepositional phrase; 'in my opinion' is natural. 'Rural areas views' should be 'rural views' or 'views in rural areas'. 'Great types of Himalayan ruins' is incorrect preposition/word choice; likely meant 'many types of Himalayan landscapes'. Also 'in our urban areas' is better as 'in urban areas' or 'in our cities'. Suggestions: use correct prepositions and natural collocations ('in my opinion', 'views in rural areas', 'in urban areas').

× I think I prefer my own country because my country is one of the beautiful and a clean country in in the world.

✓ I think I prefer my own country because it is one of the most beautiful and clean countries in the world.

Errors: unnecessary repetition 'my country' and incorrect article usage. Use comparative/superlative structure 'one of the most beautiful and clean countries' (plural 'countries' after 'one of the...'). Also remove duplicate 'in'. Suggestion: use 'one of the most + plural noun' and avoid repeating the subject.

× And I like to go in a different kinds of cinema allowance region, place.

✓ And I like to visit different regions and places.

The phrase is ungrammatical and mixes prepositions and nouns incorrectly. 'Like to go in a different kinds of' should be simplified to 'like to visit different kinds of' or better 'visit different regions and places'. Use plural agreement 'different regions' not 'a different kinds'. Suggestion: use 'visit' for going to places and match singular/plural correctly.

× For example, I have recently visit Monang district where it is, it's Himalayan.

✓ For example, I recently visited Manang district, which is in the Himalayas.

Use present perfect 'have recently visit' is incorrect: should be 'have recently visited' or simple past 'recently visited'. 'Manang' is likely the district name (corrected spelling) and 'which is in the Himalayas' uses correct relative clause and plural 'Himalayas'. Suggestion: use correct past participle 'visited' with present perfect, and use 'in the Himalayas' for location.