Views— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Make the answer more natural and concise. Start with a clear topic sentence, correct minor grammar errors, avoid repetition, and add one specific detail (where or how you take photos) using a linking word. Keep it to 2–4 sentences.

例: Yes, I love taking photos of different views, especially sunrises and sunsets. For example, I often go to the nearby hill in the early morning to capture the first light and then share the best shots with my family.

提案: Improve clarity and vocabulary, correct word choice, and use linking words. Begin with a direct statement of preference, then give a reason and a specific example. Replace unclear words ("Skylanders") with correct terms ("skylines" or "cityscapes"). Limit to 3–4 sentences.

例: I prefer urban views because I find city skylines inspiring. For instance, walking along the riverfront at sunset lets me photograph tall buildings and colorful lights, which makes me feel excited and free since I grew up in a small village.

提案: Be more concise and natural. Start with a direct topic sentence stating your stance, then use one or two supporting reasons with a linking word. Avoid clichés and fragmented endings; finish the thought. Use precise phrasing such as "it doesn't matter where it is".

例: I don't have a strong preference between my country and others because beautiful views can be found anywhere. For example, whether it's a coastal scene at home or a mountain vista abroad, what matters to me is the atmosphere and how the place makes me feel.

× Yes, I really enjoy taking photos of a different views, especially sunrise and sunset.

✓ Yes, I really enjoy taking photos of different views, especially sunrises and sunsets.

The plural noun 'views' should not take the indefinite article 'a'. Also 'sunrise' and 'sunset' refer to countable events here, so use plural 'sunrises' and 'sunsets' to match 'different views' and general habits. Suggestion: remove 'a' and pluralize 'sunrise' and 'sunset'.

× Umm to be honest, I really like the view of urban area.

✓ Umm, to be honest, I really like the view of urban areas.

'Urban area' is a countable noun; when speaking generally, use the plural 'areas' or include an article ('the urban area') and specify which one. The student means urban environments in general, so plural 'areas' is appropriate. Also add comma after 'Umm'.

× I enjoy taking photos of Skylanders as well.

✓ I enjoy taking photos of skylines as well.

Likely intended word is 'skylines', not 'Skylanders' (a proper noun). 'Photos of skylines' uses correct noun and preposition 'of'. Ensure correct vocabulary: 'skyline' (the outline of a city) fits the context.

× I just feel a lot of growth and freedom whenever I see skyline.

✓ I just feel a lot of growth and freedom whenever I see a skyline.

'Skyline' is a singular countable noun and requires an article 'a' (or 'the') when used in this general way. Without the article the sentence is ungrammatical. Alternatively, use plural 'skylines'.

× I believe it's because I grew up in a small village so I like the skyline and urban area more.

✓ I believe it's because I grew up in a small village, so I like skylines and urban areas more.

Consistency: use plural nouns 'skylines' and 'urban areas' when speaking generally. Also add a comma before 'so' to separate clauses. Using singular without article sounds unnatural in general statements.

× Umm, I do not have a choice in that.

✓ Umm, I don't have a preference in that.

'Do not have a choice' implies lack of any option, but student means they have no strong preference. Use 'don't have a preference'. This is a lexical/usage correction to match intended meaning; modal structure 'do not' is okay but phrase is semantically off. Suggestion: use 'preference' or 'strong preference'.

× I believe the view is just like we say, the beauty lies in the eyes of beholder.

✓ I believe the view is just like we say: beauty lies in the eyes of the beholder.

Fixed idiom 'beauty lies in the eyes of the beholder'. Include article 'the' before 'beholder' and remove redundant 'the' before 'beauty'. Use a colon or comma and rephrase to make the clause flow. Also add 'the' before 'beholder'.

× I feel like if you can find a beauty, doesn't matter if it's in your own country or a different country, it's just a beautiful place, beautiful view, beautiful scenery.

✓ I feel like if you can find beauty, it doesn't matter whether it's in your own country or a different country; it's simply a beautiful place with a beautiful view and beautiful scenery.

'Find a beauty' is incorrect—'beauty' in this abstract sense is uncountable, so remove 'a'. Add 'it' as subject for 'doesn't matter' and use 'whether' for clarity. Reorganize repeated nouns with proper articles and conjunctions. Use semicolon or punctuation to connect clauses. Suggestion: avoid repeating without articles and use 'a beautiful view' and 'beautiful scenery'.

× So it does not matter according to the country.

✓ So it does not matter which country it is in.

'According to the country' is unnatural here. Use 'which country it is in' or 'which country you are in' to express the intended meaning. This fixes sentence structure and preposition use.

× I believe it's just the place, the vibe and.

✓ I believe it's just the place and the vibe.

The sentence ends abruptly with 'and.' Remove trailing 'and' and complete the list with at least two items ('place' and 'vibe') or add another item. Ensure sentences are complete and not fragmented.