Views— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be more natural and concise. Start with a clear topic sentence, then give one or two specific supporting details using linking words. Avoid filler phrases like “you know” and redundant clauses. Also correct grammar (e.g. “I buy cameras” → “I buy cameras” or better “I always bring my camera”).

例: Yes, I enjoy photographing different views. For example, whenever I travel I bring my camera and take shots of landscapes and city scenes to remember the trip.

提案: Provide a clear direct answer with correct grammar, and support it with specific reasons linked logically. Use linking words like “because” or “so” and avoid repetition. Correct singular/plural and adjective forms (e.g. “urban areas are crowded and noisy, while rural areas are quiet”).

例: I prefer views in rural areas because they are generally quieter and less crowded than cities. For instance, I enjoy wide open fields and calm lakes, which are more relaxing than busy streets.

提案: Answer directly and give specific reasons. Avoid unclear phrases like “I am very similar of my countries.” Use linking words such as “because” and provide an example of what you like to see abroad. Fix vocabulary: use “other countries” or “other places” and “landscapes and cityscapes.”

例: I prefer views in other countries because I like seeing different cultures and landscapes. For example, I enjoy photographing traditional architecture and local markets when I travel abroad, which feel fresh compared with familiar scenes at home.

× Yes, actually, I like taking pictures of different views, you know, like tourists.

✓ Yes, actually, I like taking pictures of different views, like tourists do.

The original sentence incorrectly uses 'like tourists' at the end, which is ambiguous and lacks a verb. Changing it to 'like tourists do' makes the comparison clear by adding the implied verb. Suggestion: include the verb 'do' after 'tourists' when comparing actions.

× So I always buy my cameras and take pictures where we go, where I go.

✓ So I always buy my camera and take pictures where I go.

There is a subject-verb/number mismatch: 'cameras' could be plural but 'my cameras' is awkward if you mean the one you use; 'where we go, where I go' is redundant and inconsistent. Correct to 'my camera' (singular) and keep a single clause 'where I go'. Suggestion: choose singular or plural consistently and avoid redundant clauses.

× Actually them like rural areas.

✓ Actually, I prefer rural areas.

The original uses 'them' incorrectly as the subject and the verb 'like' lacks a proper subject. Replacing with 'I prefer' makes the subject clear and uses the appropriate verb. Suggestion: use the correct subject pronoun and verb phrase for personal preferences.

× The reason why like rural areas but not urban areas is that urban areas is always crowded but and noisy but rural areas is quite.

✓ The reason I like rural areas but not urban areas is that urban areas are always crowded and noisy, while rural areas are quiet.

Multiple issues: subject-verb agreement ('urban areas is' should be 'urban areas are'; 'rural areas is' should be 'rural areas are'), misuse of 'like' without subject, redundant conjunctions ('but and'), and wrong adjective 'quite' instead of 'quiet'. Also sentence structure is awkward. The corrected sentence fixes agreement, replaces 'like' with 'I like', removes extra conjunctions, and uses the correct adjective 'quiet'. Suggestion: ensure verbs agree with plural subjects, avoid extra conjunctions, and check commonly confused words (quiet vs quite).

× I prefer views in other societies, you know, other local people.

✓ I prefer views in other countries, especially among other local people.

The phrase 'views in other societies' is awkward for this context and 'other local people' is not connected correctly; preposition and phrasing 'among other local people' or 'with other local people' is clearer. The correction uses 'in other countries' to match the question and 'among' to indicate being with local people. Suggestion: choose prepositions that show the relationship (in/among/with) and match the question context.

× I am very similar of my countries, so I prefer like to go to other countries to see their landscape and cityscapes.

✓ I am very familiar with my country, so I prefer to go to other countries to see their landscapes and cityscapes.

Errors: 'similar of my countries' is incorrect — likely intended 'familiar with my country'. The preposition 'of' is wrong; 'similar to' would be used for comparisons, but doesn't fit here. Also 'prefer like to go' is ungrammatical; use 'prefer to go'. Plural agreement: 'their landscape and cityscapes' should be 'their landscapes and cityscapes' to match plural 'countries'. The corrected sentence uses 'familiar with' and correct verb pattern 'prefer to'. Suggestion: use correct collocations ('familiar with'), correct verb patterns ('prefer to do'), and match singular/plural nouns.