Views— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Shorten and organize into a clear topic sentence and 1–2 supporting details. Use correct grammar (e.g., “good at taking pictures”, “we have a habit”) and avoid repetition. Add a linking word to connect reasons. Aim for 2–3 sentences, specific detail (what you photograph and why).

例: Yes, I enjoy taking pictures, especially of food. In Indonesia many people take photos of their meals before eating, and I do this too because it helps me remember special dishes and share them on social media.

提案: Provide a direct topic sentence stating your preference, then give specific reasons with linking words (e.g., “because”, “for example”). Reduce hesitations and filler words. Give a concrete example of an urban activity you enjoy to make the answer more vivid and coherent.

例: I prefer urban areas because they have more people and activities. For example, I like visiting street markets and cafes where I can meet friends and join events, so cities feel more lively and interesting to me.

提案: Start with a clear topic sentence stating your overall preference, then compare with one specific example of other countries and explain why you prefer your country. Avoid repetition and hesitations; use linking words like “although” and “because”. Be specific about what you enjoy at home (e.g., festivals, food, scenery).

例: Although I admire beautiful places abroad, such as Switzerland, I prefer to enjoy the attractions in my own country first because I love our festivals, local food, and the familiar landscapes that remind me of home.

× I'm not really good on taking picture but in Indonesia they have habit that before they start eating their meal they taking picture and I'm the one of them.

✓ I'm not really good at taking pictures, but in Indonesia people have a habit of taking pictures of their meals before they start eating, and I'm one of them.

Use 'good at' (preposition error). 'Taking picture' should be plural 'taking pictures' or 'taking a picture'. Use 'people' instead of 'they' for general habit and 'have a habit of' plus gerund 'taking'. Place commas and join clauses for clarity. Also 'I'm the one of them' should be 'I'm one of them'. Suggestions: practice collocations (good at, habit of) and plural forms for countable nouns.

× So I like taking picture or taking picture of my meal before I.

✓ So I like taking pictures, especially pictures of my meal before I eat.

Sentence was incomplete and 'taking picture' should be 'taking pictures' (noun phrase using gerund). Also need a verb after 'before I' — complete with 'eat'. Use present simple 'eat' for habitual action. Suggestions: ensure clauses are complete and use gerund noun phrases correctly.

× Uh, I choose the urban areas because, uh, in urban areas there are many people in, uh, in, in there.

✓ Uh, I choose urban areas because there are many people there.

Redundant and incorrect preposition 'in there' after 'people' is unnecessary; say 'people there'. Also 'the urban areas' can be 'urban areas' for general preference. Suggestions: avoid repeated filler words and redundant prepositions.

× So, uh, we can, uh, do some sociality activity and, uh, doing some, uh, interesting activity, I guess.

✓ So we can do some social activities and do some interesting things, I guess.

'Sociality' is not correct; use 'social activities' (noun phrase). Parallel structure requires 'do' before both items ('do social activities and do interesting things') or use gerunds consistently. 'Doing some interesting activity' was mismatched; 'interesting things' or 'interesting activities' works better. Suggestions: learn correct nouns and maintain parallel structure.

× When I, when I saw the social media, uh, in other country, they have, uh, a beautiful place, like Swiss is a, a beautiful place, but uh, uh, uh, but I prefer to uh, to enjoy my country feast first.

✓ When I see social media from other countries, they often show beautiful places, like Switzerland, but I prefer to enjoy my country's festivals first.

Tense should be present simple 'see' for habitual action when referring to social media. 'In other country' should be 'from other countries' or 'in other countries' (preposition and plural). 'They have a beautiful place' is awkward; say 'they show beautiful places'. Use the proper country name 'Switzerland'. 'My country feast' should be 'my country's festivals' or 'my country's feasts' (possessive and plural). Suggestions: use correct prepositions with countries, use present tense for general truths, and use possessive forms for things belonging to a country.