Views— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Ответ хороший по содержанию, но можно улучшить структуру и связность. Начните с короткого тематического предложения, затем добавьте 1–2 конкретные детали. Избегайте длинных вставных конструкций и ошибок времени; вместо «for the last years» используйте «for the last few years» или «in recent years». Также можно показать причину увлечения (например, интерес к свету, композиции) и закончить предложением о текущей ситуации.

例: Yes, I do. In recent years I have dreamed of becoming a photographer because I enjoy capturing light and composition. For example, I used to own a camera that helped me learn framing, but it recently broke, so now I practise photography with my phone while saving for a new camera.

提案: Ответ ясен и релевантен, но повторения («love» и «just») и некоторая небрежность в формулировках снижают естественность. Используйте связующие слова, чтобы объединить идеи, и добавьте конкретный пример того, что именно привлекает в городской среде (например, архитектура, уличная жизнь). Сократите предложения и замените разговорные вставки.

例: I prefer urban views because I enjoy the city’s energy and contemporary architecture. For instance, I like photographing high-rise buildings and busy streets, which create interesting contrasts and vibrant compositions.

提案: Идея понятна, но фразы слишком общие и разговорны. Избегайте абсолютных слов вроде «of course» и повторов «just». Уточните причину — что именно кажется новым в других странах (архитектура, культура, свет) — и приведите короткий пример. Это сделает ответ более конкретным и убедительным.

例: I generally prefer views in other countries because new places offer different architecture and cultural scenes that catch my eye. For example, when I travel I often photograph street markets and historic facades that are very different from what I see at home.

× Yes, for the last years I've been dreaming of being a photographer and I even had a camera but unfortunately it broke.

✓ Yes, for the last few years I've been dreaming of becoming a photographer and I even had a camera but unfortunately it broke.

The phrase 'for the last years' is ungrammatical in English; use 'for the last few years' or 'for the last several years' to indicate a plural time period. Also 'dreaming of being a photographer' is acceptable but 'dreaming of becoming a photographer' is more natural. Suggestion: use 'for the last few years' and 'becoming' for a smoother, idiomatic expression.

× I love dynamics of the city, I love modern buildings, and I just like when there's a lot of going on around you and just the vibes and aesthetics of a modern city.

✓ I love the dynamics of the city, I love modern buildings, and I just like when there's a lot going on around you and the vibes and aesthetics of a modern city.

Use the definite article 'the' with 'dynamics' when referring to a specific concept ('the dynamics of the city'). Also remove 'a' before 'lot' in 'a lot going on' or keep 'a lot of things going on'; 'a lot going on' is the idiomatic reduction. Suggestion: include 'the' before 'dynamics' and 'the' before 'vibes' for specificity and natural phrasing.

× I love dynamics of the city, I love modern buildings, and I just like when there's a lot of going on around you and just the vibes and aesthetics of a modern city.

✓ I love the dynamics of the city, I love modern buildings, and I just like when there's a lot going on around you and the vibes and aesthetics of a modern city.

The structure 'a lot of going on' is awkward; the gerund phrase 'going on' needs 'a lot' without 'of' in this idiom ('a lot going on') or you need to specify 'a lot of things going on'. Suggestion: use 'a lot going on' or 'a lot of things going on' to make the verb+ing phrase grammatical.

× So I really like taking pictures of views and just of anything.

✓ So I really like taking pictures of views and just of anything.

This sentence is grammatically acceptable; no change needed. Note: 'views' and 'anything' are correctly used; keep plural 'views' to indicate multiple scenes. No correction required.

× Of course I prefer views in other countries because when you live in your country for a lot of years you just get used to the views, but in other countries you just want to take pictures of everything.

✓ Of course I prefer views in other countries because when you live in your country for many years you just get used to the views, but in other countries you want to take pictures of everything.

'For a lot of years' is informal; 'for many years' is more natural here. 'You just want' is fine but 'you just want to' repetition of 'just' can be reduced for clarity. Also keep present simple consistency: 'when you live... you get used' is acceptable as general truth. Suggestion: use 'many years' and simplify to 'you want to take pictures of everything' for smoother expression.