Views— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be more concise and avoid repetition. Start with a clear topic sentence, then add one or two specific supporting details (what you photograph and why). Use linking words to make it coherent and stay within 3–4 sentences.

例: Yes, I love taking pictures of different views because I enjoy capturing natural light and unique compositions. For example, I often photograph coastal cliffs at sunrise to capture vivid colors and dramatic shadows. This helps me preserve memories and improve my photography skills.

提案: Answer directly with a topic sentence, avoid filler and repetition, and give one specific reason with an example using a linking word (e.g., because, for example, therefore). Keep it to 2–3 sentences.

例: I prefer photographing rural areas because they offer peaceful, unspoiled scenery and richer natural details. For example, I enjoy capturing rolling hills and quiet farmhouses at dusk because they create a calm, timeless atmosphere.

提案: Be precise: directly state preference (own country or other countries), then give a specific supporting reason and one example. Use linking words (for example, because) and avoid vague phrases. Limit to 3–4 sentences.

例: I prefer taking photos in other countries because different cultures and landscapes offer fresh perspectives. For example, when I visited the Bena Republic I photographed the Amazon Statue at sunrise, and the soft light and surrounding scenery made the shots truly memorable.

× Yes, I'm, I'm very passionate about taking pictures of sites.

✓ Yes, I'm very passionate about taking pictures of sites.

There is an unnecessary repetition of 'I'm,' which is not a grammatical category in the provided list but is a fluency/duplication error; remove the extra 'I'm' to produce a grammatically correct sentence and improve fluency. Suggestion: Say 'Yes, I'm very passionate about taking pictures of sites.' without repeating the contraction.

× Amazing sites, amazing, fascinating sites.

✓ I enjoy photographing amazing, fascinating sites.

The original is a fragment consisting of repeated nouns and adjectives; it lacks a clear subject and verb. Convert the fragment into a full sentence by adding a subject and verb. Suggestion: Use 'I enjoy photographing amazing, fascinating sites.' to make it a complete sentence and clearer.

× That's one thing I love to do a lot.

✓ That's one thing I love to do.

The phrase 'to do a lot' is informal redundancy rather than a specific present participle error; remove 'a lot' to avoid repetition with 'love' which already expresses frequency/degree. Suggestion: 'That's one thing I love to do.' is concise and grammatical.

× And I tend to take good pictures of sites.

✓ I tend to take good pictures of sites.

Beginning with 'And' in spoken language is acceptable but can be omitted for formality. The present tense 'tend to take' is correct; remove the leading conjunction for a cleaner sentence. Suggestion: 'I tend to take good pictures of sites.'

× I prefer to take pictures of the of the rural area because it has a very fascinating a very fascinating scenery compared to the busy the busy urban areas.

✓ I prefer to take pictures of rural areas because they have very fascinating scenery compared to busy urban areas.

Multiple errors: repeated 'of the of the' and repeated phrases 'a very fascinating a very fascinating' are redundancy errors; 'rural area' used with singular article doesn't match general preference—use plural 'rural areas' and plural pronoun 'they' to agree; 'scenery' is uncountable so 'a' is incorrect. Remove repeated words and correct articles and number agreement. Suggestion: 'I prefer to take pictures of rural areas because they have very fascinating scenery compared to busy urban areas.'

× Yes, I prefer going abroad to absorb the atmosphere and just enjoy the tranquility of the place.

✓ Yes, I prefer going abroad to absorb the atmosphere and enjoy the tranquility of the place.

The sentence is generally correct but 'just' is informal and can be omitted for concision. Keep tense and modal usage as present preference. Suggestion: 'Yes, I prefer going abroad to absorb the atmosphere and enjoy the tranquility of the place.'

× I'll take, for instance, a place in Bena Republic called the Amazon Statue.

✓ For instance, I would visit a place in the Bena Republic called the Amazon Statue.

'I'll take, for instance, a place' is awkward; use 'I would visit' or 'I might visit' to express a hypothetical example tied to preference. Also 'Bena Republic' as a country name requires the definite article 'the' if 'Republic' is part of the name; use 'the Bena Republic.' Suggestion: 'For instance, I would visit a place in the Bena Republic called the Amazon Statue.'

× It's very fascinating and the scenery is so breathtaking, and that's something that I'd always want to go back to.

✓ It's very fascinating and the scenery is breathtaking, and that's somewhere I'd always want to return to.

'So breathtaking' is acceptable in speech but 'somewhere' fits the idea of a place better than 'something' when referring to a location; 'want to go back to' is understandable but 'want to return to' is more formal. Also 'I'd always want to' is awkward—use 'I'd always want to return to' or 'I'd always like to return to.' Suggestion: 'It's very fascinating and the scenery is breathtaking, and that's somewhere I'd always want to return to.'