Views— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be more natural and concise: start with a clear topic sentence, correct grammar (e.g. 'I am drawn to' not 'gravitated towards'), and avoid unnecessary words. Use one or two supporting details linked with a connector. Also correct small errors (e.g. 'take pictures', 'a small camera with me').

例: I enjoy taking pictures of different views. For example, I often photograph mountains and beaches because I love dramatic landscapes, and I always carry a small camera with me when I travel.

提案: Answer directly and clearly: state preference in one sentence, then give specific reasons using linking words. Avoid repetition and awkward phrasing; use correct expressions ('I am drawn to' or 'I prefer'). Provide concrete details (e.g. sounds, scenery, activities).

例: I prefer rural views to urban ones because they feel more natural and peaceful. For instance, in the countryside I can see diverse wildlife, breathe fresh air, and enjoy wide open landscapes without noise or pollution.

提案: Be concise and use everyday vocabulary rather than rare words like 'hodophile' unless you explain them. State your position clearly, then give 1–2 specific reasons with linking words. Fix grammar and clarity (e.g. 'I prefer views all over the world', 'types of views').

例: I prefer views from other countries as well as my own because I travel a lot and enjoy discovering new landscapes and cultures. For example, I like photographing coastal cliffs abroad and historic city skylines at home, so I appreciate both international and local views.

× Well, I'm gravitated towards taking picture of different views because I'm a photogenic person and moreover, I love taking pictures of mountains and beaches.

✓ Well, I'm gravitating toward taking pictures of different views because I'm a photogenic person; moreover, I love taking pictures of mountains and beaches.

The phrase 'I'm gravitated' incorrectly uses the past participle 'gravited' with 'be' to express a current tendency. Use the present participle 'gravitating' with 'be' to show an ongoing inclination. Also 'taking picture' should be plural 'taking pictures'. Suggestion: use 'I'm gravitating toward taking pictures' to convey current tendency.

× Wherever I go, I carry a small camera with myself.

✓ Wherever I go, I carry a small camera with me.

The reflexive pronoun 'myself' is incorrect here because the verb 'carry' does not require a reflexive object; use the object pronoun 'me'. Suggestion: use 'with me' for correct and natural phrasing.

× Well, I prefer both, but I'm gravitated toward views in rural areas because the views there are like natural and they feel and I can feel like flora and fauna there and fresh air and pollution free.

✓ Well, I prefer both, but I'm gravitating toward views in rural areas because the scenery there is natural, I can see flora and fauna, and the air is fresh and pollution-free.

Again 'I'm gravitated' is incorrect; use the present participle 'gravitating'. 'The views there are like natural' is ungrammatical; use 'the scenery is natural'. 'They feel and I can feel like flora and fauna there' is confused: separate ideas—use 'I can see flora and fauna there'. 'Fresh air and pollution free' needs grammatical subjects and hyphenation: 'the air is fresh and pollution-free'. Suggestions: simplify into clear clauses: 'the scenery is natural, I can see flora and fauna, and the air is fresh and pollution-free.'

× Well it will be biased to say that I only prefer views in my country.

✓ Well, it would be biased to say that I only prefer views in my country.

Using 'will be' here is inappropriate for a hypothetical or evaluative statement; the conditional 'would be' is natural when judging a statement's fairness. Use 'would be biased' to indicate a hypothetical judgment. Suggestion: use 'would' for conditional or speculative evaluations.

× I am a hodophile, I love visiting different countries and I love tourism so I prefer views in in the whole world and I usually travel a lot so that's why I love every type of you.

✓ I am a hodophile; I love visiting different countries and I enjoy traveling, so I prefer views all over the world and I usually travel a lot, which is why I appreciate every type of view.

Problems: repetition 'I love visiting' and 'I love tourism' can be streamlined to 'I enjoy traveling'. Duplicate preposition 'in in' should be 'all over the world' or 'throughout the world'. The final clause 'I love every type of you' is incorrect pronoun and meaning; likely 'view' required. Replace with 'I appreciate every type of view'. Suggestions: combine related ideas, remove duplicated words, fix preposition duplication, and use the correct noun 'view'.