Views— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: 回答要更直接并控制长度，避免重复填充词（uh, you know）。先用一句主题句直接回答，然后用1–2句具体细节支持（比如拍摄场景、情感或目的），并注意时态和单复数。可以练习把专业信息简洁融入答案。

例: Yes, I do. I study mass communication and often perform on stage, so I enjoy taking photos during performances because the lighting and costumes create dramatic shots that capture the atmosphere.

提案: 句子要更清晰并使用连词来组织原因。避免泛泛而谈和语法错误（e.g., 'in nowadays' → 'nowadays'；'make me fashion'不自然）。给出具体城市元素（街道、建筑、夜景）作为支持细节。

例: I prefer urban areas because the city offers diverse backdrops like modern architecture, colorful street art and vibrant night scenes, which give my photos a fashionable and creative look.

提案: 回答需更准确并避免重复与不明表达（如'really want to jump into those area'和'make me become a 11'不清楚）。直接说明偏好并给出具体理由或例子（如标志性景点、文化或活动）。控制长度并使用连接词。

例: I prefer taking photos in other countries, especially the United States, because I want to capture iconic locations like film studios and major sporting events such as Formula One, which would give my portfolio an international and cinematic feel.

× Yes, definitely, because my major is in mass communication and broadcasting and hosting.

✓ Yes, definitely, because my major is mass communication, including broadcasting and hosting.

句子结构不够清晰。原句中“my major is in mass communication and broadcasting and hosting” 词序与搭配不自然。应把专业总体名词放在前面，后面用包括（including）或and来并列具体方向，简化结构更符合英文表达。建议把专业整体与具体方向分开，或使用“major is mass communication, including...”来表达。

× So we do a lot uh performance on stage.

✓ So we do a lot of performances on stage.

原句用了单数名词“performance”但前面有不定量短语“a lot”，应使用复数名词或不可数形式。按照语法类型“Verb + -ing form”也涉及名词形式的数一致问题，这里应改为复数“performances”。此外可以更自然地说“do a lot of performances”或“perform a lot on stage”。

× Of course, I like taking picture uh on the stage when I wear this suit and uh beautiful lights.

✓ Of course, I like taking pictures on stage when I wear this suit and when there are beautiful lights.

“taking picture”应为复数“taking pictures”。同时“on the stage”通常说“on stage”（舞台上的一般状态不需要定冠词）。“when I wear this suit and uh beautiful lights”缺少谓语，应补为“when there are beautiful lights”来表达“有漂亮灯光的时候”。因此需要修正冠词和句子成分使句子完整。

× I would like to, uh, prefer the urban area because, uh, in nowadays, you know, the AI gave us a lot, uh, creativity views.

✓ I would prefer urban areas because nowadays AI gives us a lot of creative ideas and views.

“prefer the urban area”搭配不当，通常说“prefer urban areas”或“prefer the urban area”根据上下文选择复数更自然。“in nowadays”应为“nowadays”；“the AI gave us”时态与现在时间状况不符，且不需要定冠词“the AI”通常说“AI”或“artificial intelligence”。“creativity views”表达错误，应为“creative views”或“creative ideas and views”。因此需修改介词/副词、冠词与形容词形式。

× Uh, if I take a picture, I would like to in our urban place that will make me fashion.

✓ If I take a picture, I would like to do it in an urban place because that would make me look fashionable.

原句“would like to in our urban place”缺少动词，且“our urban place”听起来不自然，应该用“in an urban place”或“in the city”。“make me fashion”用法错误，应为“make me look fashionable”或“make me fashionable”。需要修正介词位置、动词缺失以及形容词搭配。

× I prefer, uh, in another country like United State because in United States that's a lot of Formula One, uh, Formula One and different movie area.

✓ I prefer being in another country like the United States because there are a lot of Formula One events and different movie locations there.

句子中“prefer, uh, in another country”缺少动词，应使用“prefer being in”或“prefer to be in”。“United State”要改为复数并加定冠词“the United States”。“that's a lot of Formula One”语法与表达均不正确，改为“there are a lot of Formula One events”。“movie area”应改为“movie locations”或“film locations”。同时注意时态与主谓一致。

× So I really want to jump into those area to take a picture and, uh, make me become a 11.

✓ So I really want to go to those areas to take pictures and become famous.

原句“jump into those area”搭配与数不一致，应为“go to those areas”或“jump into those areas”。“take a picture”若泛指应为“take pictures”。“make me become a 11”不符合语法与语义，可能想表达“让我成为一名摄影师”或“让我出名”。这里改为“become famous”更通顺。需要重构句子以明确意图并修正数与词类。