Views— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Reduce hesitations and redundant phrases; start with a clear topic sentence and add one or two specific supporting details using linking words. Use more precise vocabulary (e.g., "capture" instead of "collect") and avoid repetition.

例: Yes, I enjoy taking pictures of different views because they help me capture memorable moments. For example, I often photograph sunsets and city skylines to remember special trips and moods.

提案: Answer directly (name the preference) and give a concise reason with one specific example. Remove filler words and correct small grammatical issues (e.g., "because it has a natural vibe" → "because of their peaceful, natural atmosphere").

例: I prefer views in rural areas because of their peaceful, natural atmosphere. For instance, I like photographing rivers and fields when I visit the countryside because they look tranquil and colorful.

提案: Give a clear topic sentence stating your preference, then provide one specific reason and an example. Avoid repetitive statements and fix grammar (e.g., "my country has many beautiful natural places").

例: I prefer views in my country because it has many beautiful natural places. For example, I often visit the countryside to photograph mountains and waterfalls that reflect the local landscape and culture.

× I really like taking pictures of different views because umm, pictures.

✓ I really like taking pictures of different views because they are meaningful to me.

The original sentence fragments and repeats 'pictures' without a verb or clear modifier, causing a sentence structure error and improper use of noun phrase. This fits the 'Verb in the present participle form' category because 'taking' is used correctly but the remainder lacks a verb phrase; revise to provide a clear predicate. Suggestion: supply a verb phrase (for example 'they are meaningful to me') to complete the thought and avoid repetition.

× I think pictures uh, very important for umm, my life, because I can collect, umm, I can collect memorable moments in my life.

✓ I think pictures are very important for my life because they help me collect memorable moments.

The original omits the verb 'are' after 'pictures' and repeats clauses. This is an incorrect use/omission of pronoun reference and verb, so classify under pronoun issues because 'they' should refer to 'pictures'. Correction inserts the copular verb and replaces the repeated clause with a concise clause using 'they' to refer back to 'pictures'. Suggestion: include the verb 'are' and use 'they' for clarity, and avoid repetition.

× Yes I do. I really enjoy UMM. I really enjoy rural areas where because it has natural vibe and it's very calm and peaceful places.

✓ Yes, I do. I really enjoy rural areas because they have a natural vibe and are very calm and peaceful.

The sentence mixes singular verb forms ('it has') with the plural noun 'areas' and includes awkward phrasing 'places'. This is a third person singular agreement error: 'areas' requires plural verb forms ('have' not 'has') and plural pronoun 'they'. Also use 'are' for 'calm and peaceful' rather than 'it's'. Suggestion: match plural subjects with plural verbs and pronouns and simplify redundant words.

× Yes, I prefer views in my country because my country is very my country has very natural beautiful places.

✓ Yes, I prefer views in my country because it has many naturally beautiful places.

The original repeats 'my country' and uses incorrect word order 'very natural beautiful places'. This is an incorrect pronoun/reference and adjective order issue; classify under pronoun because replacing repeated noun with pronoun 'it' improves cohesion. Also adjust adjective order and add 'many' for countable places. Suggestion: avoid repeating the noun, use 'it' to refer to 'my country', and use natural adjective order ('naturally beautiful' or 'very beautiful').

× Uh, and I like my current. I love my country very much and yeah, I really enjoy my countryside.

✓ I love my country very much, and I really enjoy the countryside.

'I like my current' is incomplete and likely intended as 'I like my country' or 'current country'; the sentence is redundant and has structural problems. This fits sentence structure errors: remove the incomplete fragment, combine ideas into one coherent sentence, and use 'the countryside' rather than 'my countryside' for natural English. Suggestion: avoid fragments, remove redundancy, and use articles correctly ('the countryside').