Views— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be more concise and organized: start with a clear topic sentence, avoid hesitation and repetition, and give one or two specific supporting details (what you photograph and why). Use linking words to connect ideas and keep it to 2–4 sentences.

例: Yes, I enjoy taking pictures of natural scenes. For example, I often photograph sunsets and local wildlife because their colors and behaviors are beautiful and unpredictable. I also keep many of these photos on my phone to study light and composition.

提案: Clarify your preference and give coherent, specific reasons. Remove unrelated or confusing words (e.g., “dinosaurs,” “machines”) and use linking words (because, so, for example). Keep answers under five sentences.

例: I prefer photographing rural areas because they offer peaceful landscapes and vivid sunsets. For example, I like capturing rolling fields and birds at dusk since they create a calm, natural atmosphere that contrasts with crowded city scenes.

提案: State your preference clearly and give two concise, specific reasons (e.g., cultural variety, different landscapes). Use correct grammar for comparisons and avoid long hesitations. Link reasons with words like because and for example.

例: I prefer taking photos in other countries because they offer different cultures and landscapes. For example, traveling abroad lets me photograph architectural styles and unfamiliar wildlife, which helps me learn new techniques and expand my portfolio.

× Uh, yes, I'm really into taking pictures of nature, uh, nature and, uh, nature skin and wildlife, sunset, etcetera, because this is very beautiful, authentic and wild. And on my phone, I always take a picture of nature, the life.

✓ Uh, yes, I'm really into taking pictures of nature and wildlife, such as sunsets, because they are very beautiful, authentic, and wild. I always take pictures of nature and wildlife on my phone.

Error type: incorrect or awkward use of noun phrases and repetition; issue falls under 'Verb in the present participle form' because 'taking' is used but surrounding nouns and phrases are ungrammatical. The original repeats 'nature' and uses 'nature skin' and 'the life' which are incorrect collocations. Suggestions: remove repetitions, use correct collocations (e.g., 'nature and wildlife', 'sunsets'), ensure subject-verb agreement ('they are'), and keep verb forms consistent ('taking pictures'). Improve clarity by splitting into two sentences and placing objects after the verb 'take'.

× Uh, if I have a chance, I prefer to, uh, take a picture of a rural office because rural areas, we know that they, uh, they're very beautiful and the, the sunset wildlife there and the dinosaurs on our ways we have, we can see a lot of machines, technology buildings.

✓ If I have the chance, I prefer to take pictures in rural areas because they are very beautiful; the sunsets and wildlife there are lovely. On the roads we can also see many machines and technological buildings.

Error type: incorrect use of prepositions and many awkward phrases. Problems include 'take a picture of a rural office' (wrong preposition and noun), 'on our ways' (incorrect preposition and phrase), and missing articles. Suggestions: use 'take pictures in rural areas' or 'of rural scenes', use 'on the roads' for movement, and correct noun choices ('technological buildings'). Ensure consistent pluralization for general statements ('pictures', 'they are').

× Uh, I prefer to, honestly, I prefer to, uh, another country because, uh, our country, not development yet, but uh, it is developing now and I want to take a picture and I want to go another country and I want to see another country's culture and vibe and their wildlife, nature, lands.

✓ Honestly, I prefer other countries because our country is not very developed yet, although it is developing now. I want to travel to other countries to take pictures and to see their culture, atmosphere, wildlife, and landscapes.

Error type: present tense and sentence structure issues. The original mixes forms ('not development yet') and omits auxiliary verbs. Use 'is not very developed' for present state and 'is developing' for progressive change. Use infinitive 'to travel' and 'to take pictures' for intentions. Also improve word choice: use 'other countries', 'culture and atmosphere', 'wildlife and landscapes'. Break into clearer sentences for fluency.