Views— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Cải thiện: Trả lời trực tiếp hơn bằng thì phù hợp (present simple), sửa lỗi ngữ pháp và lựa chọn từ chính xác; rút gọn để không quá dài; dùng từ nối/chi tiết cụ thể để câu mạch lạc. Cụ thể: (1) Dùng 'enjoy' thay vì 'enjoyed' để diễn tả thói quen; (2) sửa cấu trúc gây lẫn lộn ('beach as wide skies' không rõ nghĩa) bằng mô tả cụ thể; (3) thêm một hoặc hai chi tiết ngắn giải thích lý do và ví dụ, dùng liên từ như 'because' hoặc 'and'.

例: Yes, I enjoy taking photographs of landscapes, especially beaches with wide skies, because they look peaceful. I often travel and take lots of pictures to capture memories, and I find photographing scenery relaxing. For example, last summer I spent an afternoon shooting the sunset at a coastal cliff.

提案: Cải thiện: Tránh từ ngữ không chính xác và lặp ý; dùng từ vựng phù hợp (e.g. 'vast fields' thay vì 'large subsequent fields entries') và sửa cấu trúc câu; kết hợp câu bằng liên từ để rõ ràng; tối đa 3-4 câu. Cụ thể: (1) dùng từ mô tả chính xác; (2) loại bỏ lặp 'relax' và 'peacefully' nhiều lần; (3) cung cấp một ví dụ ngắn để minh hoạ.

例: I prefer rural views because they are peaceful and usually have vast fields and open space. There are fewer people, so I can relax and enjoy the quiet. For example, I like walking through a nearby village at dawn when the light is soft and there are almost no tourists.

提案: Cải thiện: Sửa lỗi từ và ngữ pháp, dùng từ chính xác ('prefer' not 'refer'; 'peaches' likely wrong—use 'beaches' or 'peaks'); tránh câu mơ hồ ('people's natural scenery'); bổ sung lý do rõ ràng và ví dụ cụ thể; giữ 2-3 câu, dùng linking word như 'because' hoặc 'so'.

例: I prefer views in my own country because we have many beautiful beaches and wide open fields. The scenery feels familiar and relaxing, and it often reminds me of family trips to the coast. For example, last year we spent a weekend at a quiet beach where I enjoyed long walks with my parents.

× Yes, I enjoyed taking photographs especially outside views and beach as wide skies.

✓ Yes, I enjoy taking photographs, especially outdoor views and beaches with wide skies.

Sentence uses past tense 'enjoyed' but context (habitual preference) requires present simple 'enjoy'. Also 'outside views' is more naturally 'outdoor views', and 'beach as wide skies' is ungrammatical; corrected to 'beaches with wide skies'. Suggestion: use present simple for habits (I enjoy), choose correct collocations (outdoor views, beaches).

× I often travel and take lots of pictures to capture memories and because I find landscape relaxing and experience.

✓ I often travel and take lots of pictures to capture memories because I find landscapes relaxing and enjoyable.

The sentence has redundant conjunctions and an incomplete noun phrase ('experience' is unclear). Removed redundant 'and' before 'because' and changed 'landscape' to plural 'landscapes' to match general meaning; replaced 'experience' with 'enjoyable' to form a complete adjective phrase. Suggestion: avoid stacking conjunctions and ensure each clause is complete and clear.

× I prefer views in rural areas because they are peaceful and quiet with large subsequent fields entries.

✓ I prefer views in rural areas because they are peaceful and quiet with large, open fields.

Phrase 'large subsequent fields entries' is ungrammatical and incorrect word choice. Replaced with 'large, open fields' which is a common adjective-noun collocation. Suggestion: use simple adjective+noun combinations and avoid incorrect modifiers like 'subsequent' and 'entries' here.

× I also like that there are few people so I can relax and enjoy little peacefully.

✓ I also like that there are few people so I can relax and enjoy some peace and quiet.

'Enjoy little peacefully' is ungrammatical and awkward. Replaced with idiomatic expression 'enjoy some peace and quiet'. Suggestion: use set phrases for expressing tranquility; 'peace and quiet' is common.

× I prefer views in my own country because we have many scenic Peaches and open fields.

✓ I prefer views in my own country because we have many scenic beaches and open fields.

Word 'Peaches' is incorrectly used instead of 'beaches' due to spelling error; capitalization is unnecessary. Corrected to 'beaches'. Suggestion: check spelling and capitalization, and ensure nouns match intended meaning.

× I enjoy the people's natural scenery.

✓ I enjoy the country's natural scenery.

'The people's natural scenery' is awkward and implies scenery belonging to people. 'The country's natural scenery' or 'my country's natural scenery' is more natural to express national landscapes. Suggestion: choose the correct possessive noun ('country's') when referring to national scenery.

× It's relaxing and reminds me of family trips to the coast.

✓ It is relaxing and reminds me of family trips to the coast.

Contraction 'It's' is acceptable in speech, but for consistency with formal corrections we expanded to 'It is'. Tense and structure are correct (present simple for general truth and habitual memory). Suggestion: keep present simple for general truths; contractions are optional depending on formality.