Views— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Reduce hesitations and repetition, make the answer more natural and concise, and use more precise vocabulary. Start with a clear topic sentence, then give one or two specific examples with brief reasons. Avoid filler sounds (uh, um) and incorrect word choices (e.g. "mountain sweet").

例: Yes, I love taking pictures of beautiful views. For example, I often photograph flowers in my garden because their colors change with the seasons, and I also take photos of coastal sunsets since the light there is very dramatic.

提案: Improve grammar and clarity: use correct comparative structure and clearer vocabulary. Provide a topic sentence, then a specific reason and an example, linked with a conjunction. Reduce hesitations and incorrect word choices like "fielded people".

例: I prefer rural areas to urban ones because they offer more variety in scenery. For instance, in the countryside I can photograph rolling hills, farms and quiet rivers, whereas city views often show crowded streets and tall buildings.

提案: Make the response direct and fluent by removing hesitations and redundant phrases. Clarify the meaning of "no such choice" — state whether you prefer local or foreign views and give a reason with a concrete example. Use precise phrases like "variety of landscapes" and explain what "capturing waves in different contexts" means.

例: I don't really choose between them because I enjoy views in Sri Lanka as well as abroad. In Sri Lanka we have a wide variety of landscapes, from tea plantations to beaches, and I especially like photographing waves at different beaches because each shoreline creates unique patterns and light.

× Yes, of course I always take pictures when I see a beautiful scenery.

✓ Yes, of course I always take pictures when I see beautiful scenery.

'Scenery' is an uncountable noun and does not take an indefinite article 'a'. Use 'beautiful scenery' without 'a'. Also 'see a beautiful scenery' is incorrect because 'scenery' cannot be preceded by 'a'. Suggestion: Treat 'scenery' as uncountable: 'beautiful scenery' or use a countable alternative like 'a beautiful view'.

× Especially I like uh to capture uh, flowers and mountain sweet and also seaside views where there are lots of uh, beautiful sceneries.

✓ Especially I like to capture flowers and mountains and also seaside views where there are lots of beautiful scenes.

Word choice and forms are incorrect: 'mountain sweet' is wrong (likely 'mountains'), and 'sceneries' is nonstandard because 'scenery' is uncountable; use 'scenes' or 'views'. Remove filler 'uh' and unnecessary infinitive marker placement. Suggestion: use plural nouns correctly ('flowers', 'mountains') and replace uncountable 'scenery' with 'scenes' or 'views' when counting.

× I would say I prefer rural areas than urban areas because usually urban areas are fielded people, vehicles and uh, as I see it's always the same thing, but in rural areas we can have different, uh, beautiful sceneries.

✓ I would say I prefer rural areas to urban areas because usually urban areas are filled with people and vehicles and, as I see it, it's always the same thing, but in rural areas we can have different, beautiful scenery.

Multiple issues: 'prefer ... than' should be 'prefer ... to' (conjunction/preposition error -> mapped to subject-verb agreement category here for response requirement). 'Fielded people' is incorrect; correct phrase is 'filled with people'. 'As I see it's' should be 'as I see it, it's' for correct clause order. 'Sceneries' is incorrect; use uncountable 'scenery'. Suggestion: use 'prefer A to B', 'filled with', and treat 'scenery' as uncountable.

× There, there is no such choice.

✓ There is no such choice.

Duplicate 'There' is redundant. Also sentence is fine without the extra word. Suggestion: remove repeated word to make the sentence grammatical and concise.

× Uh, in my country, Sri Lanka, we have different, uh, varieties of uh, places and we, we, uh, we can take uh, capture different views.

✓ In my country, Sri Lanka, we have a variety of places and we can capture different views.

Wordiness and redundancy: 'different varieties of places' should be 'a variety of places' or 'different places'. 'Take capture' is redundant—use one verb, e.g., 'capture' or 'take'. Remove filler 'uh' and repeated words. Suggestion: simplify to 'we have a variety of places and we can capture different views'.

× Uh, I also prefer umm, capturing waves, uh, in different context.

✓ I also prefer capturing waves in different contexts.

'Prefer capturing' is acceptable but 'in different context' requires plural 'contexts' for general meaning. Also remove filler. Suggestion: use plural 'contexts' and keep gerund 'capturing' if contrasting activities; alternatively say 'I also prefer to capture waves in different contexts'.