Views— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be more concise and avoid repetition and fillers. Start with a clear topic sentence, then add one specific detail and an example. Use linking words like “for example” and remove hesitation words (uh, well).

例: I do enjoy taking pictures; photography is my passion. For example, I often photograph waterfalls and mountain vistas because I love capturing natural light and motion.

提案: Give a clear direct answer first, then support it with specific reasons using linking words. Avoid unclear phrases and grammatical errors. Keep the response to 2–3 sentences and remove vague parts like “for the news” and “I way too.”

例: I prefer rural areas because they offer natural, scenic beauty and a peaceful atmosphere. For instance, quiet country lanes and open fields help me relax and take better landscape photos.

提案: Answer directly and avoid hedging. State your preference clearly, then give specific supporting details and an example. Use correct noun plurals and concise linking words like “for example” or “in particular.”

例: I prefer views in my own country because it has diverse landscapes and cultural sites. For example, Paro Taksang is a beautiful monastery on a cliff that I enjoy hiking to and photographing.

× Yes, photography is my passion. Well, I like taking pictures of virtual landscapes, uh, waterfall, waterfalls and different places. Yeah, I love taking pictures.

✓ Yes, photography is my passion. Well, I like taking pictures of virtual landscapes, waterfalls, and different places. Yeah, I love taking pictures.

List items need parallel form and correct plural nouns. 'Waterfall, waterfalls' is redundant and inconsistent; use the plural 'waterfalls' and separate items with commas and a conjunction for correct coordination.

× Well, I prefer rural area for the news because the rural areas is the scenic beauty is natural and is calm so I prefer Peace of Mind. So I feel that I way too.

✓ Well, I prefer rural areas because the scenic beauty there is natural and calm, so I prefer the peace of mind. I feel that way too.

Multiple errors: 'rural area' should be plural or take an article ('the rural area'), so use 'rural areas' to match general preference (quantifier/article issue). 'the rural areas is' has subject-verb disagreement; corrected to 'the scenic beauty there is'. 'Peace of Mind' should be lowercase and use 'the peace of mind'. 'I way too' is incorrect word order and missing verb; correct is 'I feel that way too.' These corrections address quantifier/article and related agreement and sentence structure.

× Well, I don't have such preferences, but uh, if I were to choose, I would say my country is the best view because there is different kind of monasteries, different landscapes, beautiful mountains.

✓ Well, I don't have any particular preferences, but if I were to choose, I would say my country has the best views because there are different kinds of monasteries, varied landscapes, and beautiful mountains.

'Such preferences' is awkward; 'any particular preferences' is clearer. 'My country is the best view' is incorrect: a country 'has' views. 'There is different kind of monasteries' has quantifier and agreement errors: use 'there are different kinds of monasteries.' Also pluralize 'views' and add commas for parallel structure.

× For example, Paro Taksang is very beautiful monastery. I really love going there hiking.

✓ For example, Paro Taksang is a very beautiful monastery. I really love hiking there.

Before a singular countable noun ('monastery') an article is required: use 'a very beautiful monastery.' 'Going there hiking' is awkward word order; 'hiking there' or 'going there to hike' is correct. Adjustment fixes article use and natural verb phrase order.