Views— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be more concise and natural: start with a clear topic sentence, correct grammar (phone → phone/phones, every details → every detail), and avoid redundancy. Add one or two specific supporting details connected with linking words. Keep it within 3–4 sentences.

例: Yes, I enjoy taking photos of different views on my phone. I especially like capturing street scenes and natural landscapes because they remind me of places I’ve visited. For example, I often photograph markets to remember the colours and faces of the people there.

提案: Give a clear direct answer first, correct grammatical errors (a rural area; prefer), use linking words to explain reasons, and provide a specific example. Avoid vague phrases like "environmentally good."

例: I prefer rural views because they are quieter and more scenic. For example, I like photographing mountain paths and rice fields since the light in the mornings is soft and there are fewer people to disturb the scene.

提案: Answer directly (I prefer views from other countries), correct expressions (from my perspective; "it's new to me"), and give a concise reason with an example. Use linking words like "because" or "for example." Avoid repeating the same idea.

例: I prefer views in other countries because they often offer different architecture and landscapes. For example, when I visited Japan I enjoyed photographing temples and narrow streets, which were completely different from what I see at home.

× I do like taking pictures of different views using my phones.

✓ I do like taking pictures of different views using my phone.

The word 'phones' is plural but the speaker likely means a single device. Use the singular pronoun 'my phone' for correct noun usage. If multiple phones are intended, rephrase to 'my phones' with context. Ensure noun number matches possession.

× I like documenting every details of environment and the people that surrounds me and it is my always everyday memories.

✓ I like documenting every detail of the environment and the people who surround me, and it is my everyday memory.

Several errors: 'every details' should be singular 'every detail' (each implies singular), 'environment' needs the definite article 'the', 'the people that surrounds me' has a relative clause agreement error—use 'who surround me' for people and plural verb, 'it is my always everyday memories' is awkward and incorrect: 'everyday' as adjective before 'memory' and 'memory' should be singular to match 'it is'. Suggestion: simplify to 'it is my everyday memory' or 'these are my everyday memories' if plural is intended.

× Living in a rural areas, I preferred to document and have views in rural since it is very calmly and environmentally good.

✓ Living in a rural area, I prefer to document and enjoy rural views since it is very calm and environmentally pleasant.

'a rural areas' mixes singular article 'a' with plural 'areas'—use 'a rural area' or 'rural areas' without 'a'. 'I preferred' uses past tense but context asks preference now; use present 'I prefer'. 'have views in rural' is unidiomatic—use 'enjoy rural views'. 'very calmly' is an adverb where adjective 'calm' is needed to describe 'it' (the area). 'environmentally good' is awkward; use 'environmentally pleasant' or 'good for the environment'.

× It is peaceful wherein you have the surroundings of mountainous area.

✓ It is peaceful, with the surroundings of a mountainous area.

'Wherein' is formal and awkward here; 'with' better links the peacefulness and surroundings. 'surroundings of mountainous area' needs an article 'a' before 'mountainous area' or use 'mountains' instead. Also word order improved for natural English.

× From my perspectives, I do like or prefer views from other countries since I'd like also to experience the different views of countries which is it's new from my eyes.

✓ From my perspective, I prefer views from other countries because I would like to experience different sights that are new to me.

'From my perspectives' should be singular 'perspective'. 'I do like or prefer' is redundant—choose one verb, here 'prefer' fits the question. 'since I'd like also to experience' is awkward; 'because I would like to experience' is clearer. 'the different views of countries which is it's new from my eyes' contains subject-verb agreement and redundancy errors: 'which is it's' is ungrammatical. Use 'different sights that are new to me' for idiomatic expression.