Views— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Your answer communicates enthusiasm but has issues with clarity, grammar, and coherence. Keep answers concise (max 5 sentences). Start with a clear topic sentence, then add one or two specific supporting points using linking words. Avoid filler words and incomplete sentences; use correct verb forms and phrases (e.g., “show my kids so they can describe them”).

例: Yes, I enjoy taking pictures of different views. I keep them as memories and to study the changes in nature over time. For example, I now take photos to help my children practice describing scenes for a school activity. This hobby also helps me relax after a busy day.

提案: Good structure with a clear preference, but improve fluency and finish thoughts. Use linking words (e.g., “because,” “for example”) and give specific details rather than vague fragments. Correct minor grammar: say “rural areas” and “semi-rural region.” Avoid trailing off; complete your examples.

例: I prefer rural views to urban ones because there is more green space and wildlife. For example, after moving from a bustling city to a semi-rural area I often see many bird species and diverse plants. I also enjoy the wide, open skies that create dramatic cloud formations.

提案: Your idea is fine but delivery is hindered by hesitations and grammatical errors. Respond directly, then explain briefly with specific reasons. Reduce fillers (“um,” “uh”) and use plural/singular correctly (“both countries” or “both at home and abroad”). Provide one clear reason and an example.

例: I enjoy views both in my country and abroad. I don't think landscapes differ much to me because I focus on cloud patterns and seasonal changes. For instance, I photograph storms and cloud formations in summer and winter to compare how they change across locations.

× Definitely yes, I love to keep them as my memory and want to learn something from that.

✓ Definitely yes, I love to keep them as my memories and want to learn something from them.

The plural noun 'memories' is needed because 'them' refers to multiple pictures; 'from that' is incorrect reference—use 'from them' to refer back to the pictures. Use plural form for countable items and matching pronoun reference. Suggestion: Use plural nouns and matching pronouns when referring to multiple items (pictures -> memories; from that -> from them).

× More over these days I'm taking pictures just to show to my kids so that they prescribe it in the articulate way because the activity of picture prescription is going on in their school and this is not only helping me unwind from stress but.

✓ Moreover, these days I'm taking pictures just to show my kids so that they can describe them articulately because the activity of picture description is happening in their school, and this not only helps me unwind from stress but also gives me pleasure.

Several issues: 'More over' should be 'Moreover' (spelling/word choice). 'Show to my kids' -> 'show my kids' is correct verb pattern (no preposition). 'Prescribe' is wrong word; 'describe' fits the context. 'In the articulate way' should be 'articulately' (use adverb). 'Picture prescription' is wrong term; likely 'picture description'. 'Is going on' is informal; use 'is happening'. Sentence ended abruptly with 'but.' Complete the correlative 'not only... but also'. Suggestions: use correct vocabulary (describe, description), correct adverb forms, remove unnecessary prepositions, and complete conjunction pairs. Grammar problem types applied: Incorrect use of conjunction (16), Sentence structure errors (26).

× I like rural area view more as compared to urban area.

✓ I prefer rural views to urban ones.

Use plural 'views' and plural demonstrative for contrast 'urban ones' rather than repeating 'urban area'. Also prefer idiomatic phrasing 'prefer X to Y' instead of 'as compared to'. Suggestion: use comparative structure 'prefer X to Y' and match singular/plural forms. Grammar problem types applied: Singular and plural issue (1), Sentence structure errors (26).

× That's why I shifted from a bustling city to the semi rural region because it has lots of green space.

✓ That's why I moved from a bustling city to a semi-rural area, because it has a lot of green space.

'Shifted' is acceptable but 'moved' is more natural. 'Semi rural' should be hyphenated 'semi-rural'. 'Region' is acceptable but 'area' is more natural. Use 'a lot of' or 'lots of' consistently; here 'a lot of green space' is preferable. Suggestion: prefer natural collocations and correct hyphenation for compound adjectives. Grammar problem types applied: Verb in present participle? actually tense usage not changed; main issues are sentence structure (26) and incorrect order of adjectives (18).

× Moreover, biodiversity in terms of plant or birds can be observed here and I can see the overcast sky and huge.

✓ Moreover, biodiversity in terms of plants and birds can be observed here, and I can see overcast skies and huge clouds.

Use plural 'plants' and 'birds' when speaking generally. 'Plant or birds' is incorrect conjunction and number agreement. 'Overcast sky' -> 'overcast skies' fits general observation; sentence ended with 'huge' incomplete—complete phrase 'huge clouds'. Suggestion: match plural forms and complete the noun phrases. Grammar problem types applied: Incorrect use of quantifiers (14), Singular and plural issue (1), Sentence structure errors (26).

× My preferred views in both country.

✓ My preferred views are in both countries.

Missing verb 'are'. 'Country' should be plural 'countries' when referring to both. Suggestion: include the copula 'are' and use plural when speaking of two countries. Grammar problem types applied: Sentence without a verb (23), Singular and plural issue (1).

× Moreover, I hardly see any difference between the umm, landscape as well as uh, overcast, uh, sky in any, uh, region, uh, on the globe almost the same, uh, because I'm more interested in taking picture of clouds uh, in the different season, so.

✓ Moreover, I hardly see any difference between landscapes and overcast skies in different regions of the globe because I'm more interested in taking pictures of clouds in different seasons.

Remove filler words (umm, uh) and fix plural forms: 'landscapes' and 'skies' are plural, and 'pictures' should be plural. 'In any region on the globe almost the same' is ungrammatical—rephrase to 'in different regions of the globe'. 'Taking picture of clouds in the different season' should be 'taking pictures of clouds in different seasons'. Suggestions: avoid fillers, match plural forms, and use natural prepositional phrases. Grammar problem types applied: Incorrect use of pronouns (12) not exactly but plural issues (1) and Sentence structure errors (26).