Views— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be clearer and more concise. Start with a direct topic sentence, avoid filler words, correct grammatical errors, and give one or two specific supporting details using linking words. Also keep answers to no more than 4–5 sentences.

例: Yes, I enjoy photographing different views. For example, I often use a DSLR camera to capture mesmerizing landscapes when I travel, because these photos let me share the scenery with friends online. I also try different angles and lighting to make my pictures more interesting.

提案: Give a direct answer first, then briefly justify it with clear, specific examples. Remove repetition and finish your thoughts. Use linking words like 'however' or 'because' to connect ideas.

例: It depends on the situation, but I usually prefer urban views. Urban scenes like museums, high-rise buildings and busy walking streets offer interesting architectural details and lively activity, which I find inspiring for photography. However, I sometimes choose rural landscapes for peaceful, natural compositions.

提案: Start with a clear statement and avoid hedging phrases like 'I might be biased.' Explain why with a specific reason and an example. Correct grammar (e.g., 'bring memories') and keep it concise.

例: I prefer the views in my own country because many places evoke childhood memories. For instance, the coastal hills where I grew up always remind me of family outings, so I enjoy photographing them to preserve those memories.

× Yes, I like photographing from different views.

✓ Yes, I like photographing different views.

The preposition 'from' is unnecessary and awkward here. 'Photographing different views' correctly expresses taking pictures of various scenes. Remove 'from' for natural phrasing.

× Uh, that's why I about, uh, professional camera for taking a photo.

✓ That's why I bought a professional camera for taking photos.

The original sentence has missing and incorrect words ('about' should be 'bought') and number agreement. Use past simple 'bought' to indicate the action of purchasing and plural 'photos' for general activity. This corrects sentence structure and verb choice.

× And whenever I have phase two mesmerizing landscape, I try to take a photo, uh, and it can help me to share my, uh, share the landscape which I see.

✓ Whenever I find a mesmerizing landscape, I try to take a photo, which helps me share the landscape I see.

The phrase 'have phase two' is incorrect; use 'find a' to indicate encountering a landscape. Combine clauses and use 'which helps me' to show purpose; use 'share the landscape I see' for natural word order.

× Depends on depends on the situation.

✓ It depends on the situation.

Complete the sentence with the subject 'It' and present tense verb 'depends' for grammatical correctness; repeating 'depends on' is unnecessary.

× If I live in the city in.

✓ If I live in the city,

The phrase ends with an extra 'in' and is incomplete. Remove the extra word and finish with a comma to continue the conditional clause.

× If I live in the urban area, I have to take a photo from urban landscape such as museum, cities, high rise building, museum covers St. walking street and even part of some park in the cities.

✓ If I live in an urban area, I would take photos of urban landscapes such as museums, city streets, high-rise buildings, walking streets and parts of city parks.

Use 'an urban area' (article) and 'would' to indicate a habitual or conditional preference. 'Take photos of' is the correct collocation. Use plurals for general categories (museums, high-rise buildings) and natural terms like 'city streets' and 'parts of city parks'. Remove unclear phrase 'museum covers St.' and replace with 'city streets'.

× But.

✓ But sometimes I prefer other types of views.

A single conjunction 'But.' is a sentence fragment. Complete the thought by adding what contrasts with the previous clause; here adding 'sometimes I prefer other types of views' makes a coherent sentence.

× I'd say my answer might be biased but I prefer my country because all landscape in my country bring memorize for me and I remember my childhood memory, memories and.

✓ I'd say my answer might be biased, but I prefer my country because the landscapes there bring back memories for me and remind me of my childhood.

Use comma before 'but' for compound sentence. 'All landscape' should be 'the landscapes' (article and plural). 'Bring memorize' is incorrect; use 'bring back memories' or 'remind me'. 'My childhood memory, memories and' is redundant and unfinished; replace with 'remind me of my childhood' for clarity and correct grammar.