Views— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: 句子结构混乱，时态和语法错误较多，表达不够简洁。回答没有清晰的主题句并且过长，建议先用一句明确的主题句回答问题，然后用一到两句具体细节支持，使用适当连词使表达更连贯。注意动词形式（habit of taking / reminds），避免重复词（that the）。可练习将长句拆分为短句，控制在最多五句。

例: Yes, I do. I often take photos of landscapes and city skylines because they remind me of the moments when I was there. For example, a sunny morning in the mountains makes me feel peaceful, while a busy city skyline brings back memories of that trip. These pictures help me relive the emotions I felt at the time.

提案: 回答有明确立场但表达不够自然且有语法和词汇错误，例如 'Avoids uh burnt sunshine' 和 'will fulfill more comfortable'。建议先用一句简洁的主题句，然后用一到两条具体原因支持，使用连接词（for example, because）并注意主谓一致和形容词/副词用法。去掉填充词（uh）。

例: I prefer urban views. I find city walks more convenient because there are cafes and public transport nearby, and the streets feel safer. For example, in the city I can quickly find shelter from strong sun or rain, which makes my walks more comfortable.

提案: 观点明确但句子不够准确自然，语法问题（tense, subject agreement）和用词错误（fresh atmosphere -> a fresh atmosphere; you/ I 混用）。建议用第一人称一致表述，先给出立场，再提供两个具体原因并加例子，注意动词形式和冠词使用。

例: I prefer views in other countries. Traveling abroad gives me a fresh atmosphere and new experiences that break my daily routine. For instance, a trip to Spain changed my eating habits and made me feel more independent and free.

× I have the habit that taking pictures of different view including sunshine in mountain or skyline in the city, which remind me of the moment I take these photos and bring me to the place I have been that that was a complex emotion.

✓ I have the habit of taking pictures of different views, including sunshine on mountains or skylines in the city, which remind me of the moments I took these photos and bring me back to places I have been; it is a complex emotion.

句子结构混乱、多处从属关系和短语使用不当。建议用固定搭配“have the habit of + 动词-ing”，将“view”改为复数“views”，用介词短语“sunshine on mountains”而不是“in mountain”，把“which”引导的定语从句与先行词“pictures”或“moments”对应，并注意时态一致（回忆过去的动作用过去时“took”）。用分号或句号将过长句子分开，避免重复“that that”。中文建议：使用固定搭配“have the habit of + V-ing”；复数名词注意与语境一致；介词使用常见搭配；保持从句与先行词逻辑一致；避免冗长重复。

× I have the habit that taking pictures of different view including sunshine in mountain or skyline in the city, which remind me of the moment I take these photos and bring me to the place I have been that that was a complex emotion.

✓ I have the habit of taking pictures of different views, including sunshine on mountains or skylines in the city, which remind me of the moments I took these photos and bring me back to places I have been; it is a complex emotion.

名词单复数使用错误：'view'、'mountain'、'skyline'、'moment'在该语境中应使用复数形式（views, mountains, skylines, moments）。中文建议：当说泛指不同的景色或多次拍摄的时间点时，应使用复数。

× I have the habit that taking pictures of different view including sunshine in mountain or skyline in the city, which remind me of the moment I take these photos and bring me to the place I have been that that was a complex emotion.

✓ I have the habit of taking pictures of different views, including sunshine on mountains or skylines in the city, which remind me of the moments I took these photos and bring me back to places I have been; it is a complex emotion.

短语“have the habit of”后应接动名词（V-ing），不是“that + taking”。中文建议：记住固定搭配“have the habit of + V-ing”，例如“have the habit of taking”。

× I have the habit that taking pictures of different view including sunshine in mountain or skyline in the city, which remind me of the moment I take these photos and bring me to the place I have been that that was a complex emotion.

✓ I have the habit of taking pictures of different views, including sunshine on mountains or skylines in the city, which remind me of the moments I took these photos and bring me back to places I have been; it is a complex emotion.

介词使用不当：应使用“on mountains”（阳光照在山上）而不是“in mountain”；“bring me back to a place”比“bring me to the place”更自然。中文建议：常用搭配要记牢，例如“sunshine on the mountain(s)”、“bring me back to”。

× which remind me of the moment I take these photos and bring me to the place I have been that that was a complex emotion.

✓ which remind me of the moments I took these photos and bring me back to places I have been; it is a complex emotion.

时态混用：回忆过去拍照的动作应使用过去时“took”而不是现在时“take”。中文建议：描述已经发生的具体动作用过去时。

× They are fresh atmosphere and you will enjoy a new life.

✓ They have a fresh atmosphere and you will enjoy a new life.

主谓一致和动词形式错误：'They are fresh atmosphere' 非常不自然，应使用动词短语“have a fresh atmosphere”或改为“They feel fresh”。如果保留“be”，需要调整为“a fresh atmosphere”对应单数结构或重写为“they have”。中文建议：根据主语选择合适谓语短语，注意搭配自然性。

× Other countries are better choices for me to visit when you came to a different country.

✓ Other countries are better choices for me to visit when I travel to a different country.

句子结构和代词、时态搭配不当：原句混用了第二人称“you came”与主句“for me”。应统一主语和时态，使用一般现在时或一般将来时更符合习惯（'when I travel'）。中文建议：主从句主语要一致，时态要根据习惯用法调整。

× They are fresh atmosphere and you will enjoy a new life. It change your habit and it will makes me feel free.

✓ They have a fresh atmosphere and you will enjoy a new life. It changes your habits and it makes me feel free.

时态和动词形式错误：'It change' 应为第三人称单数现在时 'It changes'；'will makes' 中 'makes' 不应与 'will' 连用，应为 'will make' 或直接用现在时 'makes'。中文建议：注意第三人称单数现在时加 -s，以及情态动词后接动词原形。

× Other countries are better choices for me to visit when you came to a different country.

✓ Other countries are better choices for me to visit when I travel to a different country.

代词使用错误：从句中使用了 'you' 而主句主语是 'me'，导致主语不一致。中文建议：主从句中的主语应保持一致或符合上下文。

× City walks are more convenient and more comfortable than rural areas.

✓ City walks are more convenient and more comfortable than walks in rural areas.

比较结构中比较对象不对等：'City walks'（复数）与 'rural areas'（地点）比较不直接，应把两边对齐为同类概念，例如'city walks' vs 'walks in rural areas'。中文建议：比较时确保两侧结构一致，如都为名词短语并指同类事物。

× Avoids uh burnt sunshine and uh rain weather and will fulfill more comfortable when I'm in the city.

✓ I avoid harsh sun and rainy weather and I feel more comfortable when I'm in the city.

副词/动词位置和主语遗漏：原句缺少主语且动词形式错误('Avoids'应为'I avoid')；'rain weather' 不自然，应为 'rainy weather'；'will fulfill more comfortable' 语序和搭配错误，应为 'feel more comfortable' 或 'be more comfortable'。中文建议：确保句子有明确主语，动词和副词/形容词放在正确位置，使用常见搭配如 'rainy weather'、'feel comfortable'。

× Avoids uh burnt sunshine and uh rain weather and will fulfill more comfortable when I'm in the city.

✓ I avoid harsh sunshine and rainy weather and I feel more comfortable when I'm in the city.

形容词/副词使用不当：'burnt sunshine' 不自然，应使用形容词 'harsh' 或 'strong'；'fulfill more comfortable' 中 'comfortable' 是形容词，不能直接接在 'fulfill' 之后，应使用 'feel' 或 'be'。中文建议：选择常用搭配，如 'harsh sunshine'、'rainy weather'，并用 'feel comfortable' 表达感受。