Views— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Reduce hesitations and repetitions, use a clear topic sentence, and provide one or two specific supporting details. Correct word choice (e.g., "photolic" → "photography enthusiast") and grammar (e.g., "remind my" → "remind myself") will improve clarity. Keep answers natural and within 3–4 concise sentences.

例: Yes, I’m a photography enthusiast, and I enjoy taking pictures of natural scenes. For example, I often photograph sunsets and sunrises because they have rich colors and peaceful atmospheres. I keep these photos to remember special moments and to practice composing better shots.

提案: Start with a clear direct answer and give specific reasons with linking words. Reduce fillers and correct grammar (e.g., "spent free time using" is unclear). Mention concrete examples of what you see or experience in rural areas to make the response more informative and coherent.

例: I prefer views in rural areas, especially in India, because village life shows strong cultural traditions. For instance, I enjoy seeing people weaving, farming, and celebrating local festivals. These scenes feel authentic and help me understand local customs better.

提案: Give a concise direct answer then support with specific reasons and examples, using linking words for coherence. Avoid repetition and filler words. Use precise vocabulary (e.g., "varied climates" instead of "different kind of weathers") and correct sentence structure.

例: I prefer views in the country where I live now, Canada, because it offers diverse landscapes. For example, British Columbia has mountains, forests and coastal scenery, and in winter you can enjoy snowy vistas. These varied environments make it a visually interesting place to photograph.

× Yes uh, as I am a photolic person and I, I really like to take pictures of good views of like uh, that presents nature, uh, very beautifully, like sunset, sunrise.

✓ Yes, I am a photolic person and I really like to take pictures of beautiful views of nature, such as sunsets and sunrises.

The sentence uses awkward and incorrect adjective phrases ('good views of like uh, that presents nature, uh, very beautifully') and repetition. Use the adjective 'beautiful' to modify 'views' and a clear noun phrase 'views of nature'. Also pluralize 'sunset, sunrise' to 'sunsets and sunrises' for parallelism and natural phrasing. Remove filler words for clarity. Suggested improvement: simplify modifiers, use correct adjectives, and keep parallel lists.

× I really like to take pictures of mine so that I can remind my.

✓ I really like to take pictures for myself so that I can remember them.

The original uses incorrect possessive pronoun 'mine' and an incomplete object 'remind my'. Replace 'mine' with the reflexive phrase 'for myself' and use the verb 'remember' with the object 'them' to refer to the pictures. Suggestion: use correct pronouns and complete verb objects.

× I really, I, I prefer to see the views of rural India, uh, because there are, uh, different cultural people and, uh, they do traditional things in, uh, in villages and, uh, spent, uh, free time using.

✓ I prefer to see the views of rural India because there are people from different cultures who practice traditional activities in villages and spend their free time doing those activities.

Problems include incorrect preposition use ('in villages and, uh, spent, uh, free time using') and awkward noun phrases ('different cultural people'). Use 'people from different cultures' and the relative clause 'who practice traditional activities'. Use 'spend their free time doing' to correctly express how they use leisure time. Suggestion: use correct prepositions and consistent verb forms.

× I prefer to view, I prefer views and umm, in, in the country where I'm living right now, it's Canada.

✓ I prefer views in the country where I am living now; I live in Canada.

The original is disfluent and has mixed clauses ('I prefer to view, I prefer views and umm, in, in the country where I'm living right now, it's Canada'). Simplify to a clear statement: 'I prefer views in the country where I am living now' and add a separate clear clause 'I live in Canada.' Avoid repetition and run-on structure. Suggestion: split into two concise sentences.

× Uh, it is a very beautiful country and uh, the BC province is also very beautiful.

✓ It is a very beautiful country, and the province of British Columbia is also beautiful.

The phrase 'the BC province' is nonstandard; use 'the province of British Columbia' or 'BC' as an abbreviation without 'province' after it. Also remove repeated 'very beautiful' for variety. Suggestion: use correct names and avoid repetitive adjectives.

× There are different kind of weathers, uh, like snowfall.

✓ There are different kinds of weather, such as snowfall.

Errors: 'different kind' should be plural 'different kinds', and 'weathers' is incorrect; the uncountable noun 'weather' should be singular. Use 'such as' instead of 'like' for examples. Suggestion: use correct count/uncount nouns and pluralization.