Views— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be more concise and organized: start with a clear topic sentence, then give one or two specific supporting details. Avoid fillers (uh) and grammatical errors (singular/plural, tense). Use linking words (for example, because) to connect reasons. Limit your answer to up to five sentences.

例: Yes, I enjoy taking pictures of different views because photography is my hobby. For example, I often photograph sports events and interesting lighting, since they catch my attention and create memorable images. I also keep these photos as a visual record of experiences.

提案: Give a clear direct answer (e.g., I prefer rural areas), then support with two specific reasons using linking words (because, so, for example). Avoid vague phrases and repetition; use accurate vocabulary (countryside, greenery, relaxing). Keep it concise and grammatical.

例: I prefer rural views because I love being surrounded by nature. The countryside’s greenery and open spaces are more photogenic and relaxing than crowded city streets, so I find it easier to take peaceful, beautiful photos there.

提案: Answer the question directly (Yes/No is ambiguous here—use a complete sentence: I prefer views in other countries). Then give specific comparisons and reasons, avoiding repetition and unclear place names. Use linking words (however, while, for example). Correct grammar and proper nouns.

例: I prefer views in other countries, especially Switzerland, because its mountains and lakes are incredibly scenic. By contrast, my hometown in Salalah has some nice spots but fewer dramatic landscapes, so I find foreign scenery more striking and inspiring for photography.

× Yes, I really enjoy taking pictures of different views or taking picture of the anything, uh, my sports, my light and it's catch my attention.

✓ Yes, I really enjoy taking pictures of different views or taking pictures of anything, like my sports and lighting, when they catch my attention.

The sentence misuses gerund forms and articles: 'taking picture' should be 'taking pictures'; 'of the anything' is incorrect — use 'of anything' or 'of the things'; 'my light' likely means 'lighting' or 'lights'; 'it's catch' mixes subject and verb forms. Use plural gerunds consistently and ensure subject-verb agreement ('they catch'). Improve by keeping parallel structure: 'taking pictures of X and Y when they catch my attention.'

× I immediately take a picture of it.

✓ I immediately take a picture of it.

This sentence is grammatically acceptable; no article correction is needed. It is kept unchanged to preserve meaning. (Included for completeness because nearby sentences had article issues.)

× So it's kept a memory to me and photograph is just my hobby.

✓ So it keeps a memory for me, and photography is just my hobby.

'It's kept a memory to me' uses passive and wrong preposition; use active 'it keeps a memory for me' or 'it gives me a memory.' 'Photograph' as a noun is 'a photograph' or the activity is 'photography.' Use 'photography' to mean the hobby.

× Yes, I prefer little views because I really like nature and prefer nature over cities because nature and the this green eye-catching color of the nature just catch my attention and look very good at photos and give me just a relaxation moment.

✓ Yes, I prefer natural views because I really like nature and prefer it over cities because the green, eye-catching colors of nature catch my attention, look good in photos, and give me a relaxing moment.

Problems: 'little views' is unclear; 'nature' repeated—use pronoun 'it'; 'the this' is redundant; 'color' should be plural 'colors' to match 'green' variety; subject-verb agreement: 'colors ... catch' not 'catchs'; 'look very good at photos' should be 'look good in photos'; 'give me just a relaxation moment' should be 'give me a relaxing moment.'

× No, I really like the views in Switzerland.

✓ No, I really like the views in Switzerland.

Sentence is correct; 'the views in Switzerland' is acceptable and needs no change. Included to indicate no error of article.

× Like we all know it's just like heaven.

✓ As we all know, it's like heaven.

Redundant 'like' repeated and informal. Use 'As we all know' for clarity. Avoid repeating 'like' twice.

× Switzerland is like heaven.

✓ Switzerland is like heaven.

This sentence is grammatically correct as a simple comparison; no change required.

× My my home country is just very basic, don't have that much nature in other countries.

✓ My home country is more basic and doesn't have as much natural scenery as other countries.

Problems: repeated 'My my'; 'don't' should agree with singular subject 'my home country' -> 'doesn't'; phrase 'that much nature in other countries' is unclear — intended comparison to other countries, so use comparative structure 'doesn't have as much natural scenery as other countries.'

× I live in Sultana, Vermont. We have Salalah but it's not enough and not compared to Switzerland.

✓ I live in Sultana, in the state of Vermont. We have Salalah, but it's not comparable to Switzerland and not enough in terms of natural scenery.

'Sultana, Vermont' may need clarity; 'not compared to Switzerland' is incorrect — use 'not comparable to Switzerland.' Also clarify 'not enough' by specifying 'in terms of natural scenery.' Added 'in the state of' if Sultana is a place name; keep structure clearer.