Views— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be clearer and more fluent: start with a direct topic sentence, avoid filler words, correct grammar (e.g. use ‘help me remember beautiful views’), and add one specific supporting detail or example. Keep it under 5 sentences and use a linking word if adding detail.

例: Yes, I love taking pictures of different views. Photography helps me remember beautiful moments and scenery, and I enjoy reviewing my photos later to relive those experiences. For example, when I visited the coast last year I took several landscape shots that remind me of the atmosphere and light.

提案: Answer directly and use more precise vocabulary and linking words. Begin with a clear preference or balanced view, then contrast with specific details (use ‘whereas’ or ‘while’). Correct grammar (e.g. ‘characteristics’, ‘urban’, ‘rural’, avoid repetition).

例: I actually like both urban and rural views because they offer different qualities. Urban areas have impressive architecture and vibrant streets, whereas rural landscapes provide peaceful natural scenery and wide open spaces.

提案: Be concise and correct grammar: use ‘other countries’ plural, avoid fillers (‘uh’, ‘I think’), and give one concrete reason with an example. Use a linking word such as ‘because’ then add a supporting detail about culture or landscapes.

例: I prefer views in other countries because traveling abroad exposes me to exotic landscapes and different cultures. For instance, visiting Japan allowed me to photograph distinctive temples and seasonal scenery that I would never find at home.

× I am passionate about photography and I think recall the beautiful views.

✓ I am passionate about photography and I think it helps me recall beautiful views.

The original sentence is missing a proper verb phrase after 'think'. The verb 'recall' needs a subject or a helping verb. Using 'it helps me recall' completes the idea and uses the correct verb form. Suggestion: include a subject and auxiliary (it helps me) or use 'it helps me to recall'.

× UMM can help me remember that Will and and.

✓ Um, it can help me remember them.

The original fragment is ungrammatical and repetitive ('Will and and'). Use a simple subject 'it' to refer to photographs and the object pronoun 'them'. Also remove filler repetition. Suggestion: keep fillers minimal and complete the clause with a clear subject and object.

× I think it is a good way to.

✓ I think it is a good way to remember memories.

The sentence ends abruptly and lacks a complete infinitive phrase. Adding an object or purpose (to remember memories/to preserve memories) completes the expression. Suggestion: finish the infinitive or rephrase: 'a good way to remember things.'

× I think personally I like both of them because I think they have a different characteristic.

✓ Personally, I like both of them because I think they have different characteristics.

'A different characteristic' is incorrect when referring to two categories; plural 'characteristics' is appropriate. Also 'personally' suffices without 'I think' repeated. Suggestion: use plural nouns when referencing multiple items and avoid redundancy.

× In modern city the skyscraper is very amazing and in rural country the the natural land.

✓ In a modern city, the skyscrapers are amazing, and in the countryside the natural landscape is beautiful.

Articles are missing or incorrect: use 'a modern city' and 'the skyscrapers' (plural) or 'the skyscraper' with 'a'. 'Rural country' is awkward; 'the countryside' or 'rural areas' is better. Also 'the the' is duplicated. 'Natural land' should be 'natural landscape'. Suggestion: use appropriate articles and correct nouns (singular/plural) and avoid repetition.

× I think personally I like both of them because I think they have a different characteristic.

✓ Personally, I like both because they have different characteristics.

Refers to 'both' (two types), so 'characteristics' should be plural. Also 'both of them' can be shortened to 'both'. Suggestion: ensure noun number matches the subject.

× In modern city the skyscraper is very amazing and in rural country the the natural land.

✓ In a modern city, the skyscrapers are very impressive, and in rural areas the natural landscape is beautiful.

Mix of singular/plural and article errors: 'skyscraper' should be plural when referencing general features; 'rural country' should be 'rural areas' or 'the countryside'. Suggestion: match plurality to general statements and use natural collocations like 'natural landscape'.

× Uh, definitely other country because I want to explore other exotic landscape and I want to, I think to visit other country can broaden my horizon and I also want to see different, uh, culture and yeah.

✓ Uh, definitely other countries because I want to explore exotic landscapes, and I think visiting other countries can broaden my horizons; I also want to see different cultures.

'Other country' should be plural 'other countries' when speaking generally. Articles before 'exotic landscape' are unnecessary; plural 'landscapes' is better. 'To visit other country can' is ungrammatical; use gerund 'visiting' or 'to visit other countries can' with 'can' needs infinitive phrase corrected. 'Broaden my horizon' should be plural 'horizons'. 'Different culture' should be plural 'cultures'. Suggestion: use plural forms for general statements about multiple countries and prefer gerunds after verbs like 'think'.

× I want to, I think to visit other country can broaden my horizon

✓ I think visiting other countries can broaden my horizons

After 'I think' use a gerund phrase ('visiting...') rather than 'to visit' followed directly by 'can'. Also use plural 'countries' and 'horizons'. Suggestion: restructure to 'I think visiting other countries can broaden my horizons.'

× I also want to see different, uh, culture and yeah.

✓ I also want to see different cultures.

'Different culture' should be plural 'cultures' when referring to multiple cultures. Also filler 'uh' and trailing 'and yeah' should be removed for clarity. Suggestion: use plural nouns when speaking generally and avoid unnecessary fillers.