Views— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be more concise and correct grammar. Start with a clear topic sentence, then give one or two specific supporting details using linking words. Avoid repetition and incorrect tense/forms (e.g., 'take taking', 'that's not really means').

例: Yes, I enjoy taking pictures of different views because they serve as personal memories. For example, photos of my school and neighbourhood help me recall special events and friends, so I often take wide shots and close-ups to preserve those moments.

提案: Give a direct topic sentence and then specific reasons with linking words. Correct grammar (e.g., 'I prefer urban areas', 'I like tall buildings and street art'). Reduce hesitations and redundant phrases.

例: I prefer urban views because I study urban design and enjoy architectural details. For instance, I admire tall buildings, modern facades and street art, and I often photograph them to study composition and textures.

提案: Answer directly and provide specific reasons and examples. Use linking words (for example, however, because) and correct comparative forms (e.g., 'I prefer views in other countries because'). Avoid fillers like 'uh' and vague repetitions.

例: I prefer views in other countries because they offer different cultures and architectural styles. For example, visiting Japan and Italy exposed me to distinct street layouts and historical buildings, which inspired my photography and design ideas.

× Well, I really like to take taking pictures of different views 'cause that's not really means photos, they are my memories.

✓ Well, I really like taking pictures of different views because they are not just photos; they are my memories.

The original uses 'like to take taking' which duplicates infinitive and gerund; only one form is needed. 'Like taking' is natural. 'Cause' is informal; use 'because'. 'That's not really means photos' is ungrammatical; rephrase to 'they are not just photos'. Use a semicolon or conjunction to join clauses. Suggestion: choose either 'like to take pictures' or 'like taking pictures', and avoid contractions in formal speech.

× So when I was old I can just check the picture to remind me about the school memories.

✓ So when I am older I can just check the pictures to remind me of my school memories.

The sentence mixes past ('was') and modal 'can' improperly. To express future ability, use 'when I am older'. 'Picture' should be plural 'pictures' to match 'memories'. Use 'remind me of' rather than 'remind me about'. Also 'school memories' benefits from possessive 'my'.

× That's really meaningful. Then just a pictures.

✓ That's really meaningful. Then just simple pictures.

'a pictures' mixes singular article 'a' with plural 'pictures'. Change to either 'a picture' or 'simple pictures' depending on intended meaning. Here 'simple pictures' keeps plural and conveys contrast. Also clarify 'Then' usage; consider 'They are just simple pictures.'

× Well my major is urban design, so I more prefer views in urban area than uh, rural areas Could just I just like the tall buildings.

✓ Well, my major is urban design, so I prefer views in urban areas more than in rural areas. I just like the tall buildings.

Use 'prefer A to B' or 'prefer A more than B' with correct prepositions. 'Urban area' should be plural 'urban areas' to match 'rural areas' or add 'in' before 'urban area'. 'Could just I just like' is ungrammatical; separate into a clear sentence 'I just like the tall buildings.' Also add commas after introductory phrase.

× I like to see the structures, the umm, the painting in the outside world.

✓ I like to see the structures, the paintings in the outside world.

'The painting' implies a specific painting; plural 'paintings' fits the general observation. 'Outside world' does not require 'the' unless referring to a specific outside world; 'the outside world' is acceptable but plural 'paintings' needed. Also 'structures' is fine with 'the' only if referring to particular structures; keep consistent.

× So I'm more preferred urban areas.

✓ So I prefer urban areas more.

'I'm more preferred' incorrectly uses passive or adjective form. Use active present simple 'I prefer' for habits. Place 'more' after the verb for natural order: 'prefer ... more.'

× Wow, things I just went to many, many place in my country, so I more prefer to see the view in other countries.

✓ Wow, I have just been to many places in my country, so I prefer to see the views in other countries more.

Use present perfect 'have been' to indicate experiences up to now. 'Went' (simple past) is less appropriate with 'just' in this context. 'Place' should be plural 'places'. 'More prefer' is incorrect; use 'prefer ... more' or 'prefer ... to ...'. 'View' should be plural 'views'.

× So you know that different country has different cultures and different things and different, uh, structures.

✓ So, you know, different countries have different cultures, things, and structures.

'Different country has' uses singular noun with 'different' when plural 'countries' is intended; the verb should be plural 'have' to agree with 'countries'. Also streamline the list and remove filler 'uh'.

× So I more prefer to go outside to see it.

✓ So I prefer to go abroad to see them.

'More prefer' is incorrect; use 'prefer'. 'Go outside' is ambiguous; for seeing views in other countries, 'go abroad' is clearer. 'It' should match plural 'them' (views/places).