Views— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: 回答自然且有个人经历，内容相关性较好，但存在若干问题：1) 语法和用词错误（如“have once won”应为“once won”或“have won before”，“professionalist”用词不当，应改为“perfectionist”）；2) 表达冗长并有重复（“set the perfect angle and the flawless lighting”与“experiencing a few hardships”可更简练）；3) 句子较复杂，口语连贯性可提升；4) 可以用一两个连接词使叙述更流畅并给出更具体的例子或情感细节以丰富内容。改进建议：用正确且地道的词汇替换错误词，简化句子结构，控制在最多5句内；在支持细节中加入具体例子（如一次失败的拍照经历）并使用连接词（e.g. because, so, however）。

例: I’m not really into taking photos of views. I once won a camera at my dad’s company event, but as a bit of a perfectionist I found it hard to get the right angle and lighting, so I gave up after a few attempts. Now I prefer to enjoy the scene in person rather than spend time trying to capture it on camera.

提案: 回答结构清晰，使用了对比并表达了个人偏好，但存在语法和用词小问题（如“the rural areas is”应为“rural areas are”或“the countryside is”）；语言可更简洁自然，避免口语填充词（如“kind of”重复）。此外可加入更具体的细节或例子（如喜欢的城市景观或乡村活动）使回答更有说服力。

例: It depends. When I’m upbeat I prefer urban views because the skyscrapers and busy streets feel energetic and exciting. However, when I want peace and quiet I choose the countryside, where open fields and slow life help me relax.

提案: 回答表达了明确偏好并给出原因和具体例子，但存在用词和语法问题（如“cost worthy”应为“cost-effective”或“cheaper”，“feel more related to”应为“feel more connected to”）；句子可以更地道更简洁，同时可以扩展一点关于为什么这些景点吸引你的具体原因。建议用更恰当的词汇替换不地道表达，并用一两个连接词使句子衔接自然。

例: I prefer traveling within my own country because it’s more cost-effective and I feel more connected to the local scenery and culture. For example, I’d love to visit the Taklamakan Desert in Xinjiang to see its vast dunes and Chaka Salt Lake in Qinghai for its mirror-like water.

× I prefer to enjoy the scenery at that moment instead of taking a photo of it and capture it.

✓ I prefer to enjoy the scenery at the moment instead of taking a photo of it and capturing it.

句中并列的动词短语应保持一致形式。原句使用了“taking ... and capture ...”，前项为动名词（-ing），后项用了一般动词不一致，需改为动名词“capturing”。另外建议将“at that moment”改为更自然的“at the moment”。

× because I'm a bit of a professionalist, I find it hard to set the perfect angle and the flawless lighting.

✓ because I'm a bit of a professional, I find it hard to set the perfect angle and flawless lighting.

单词“professionalist”不是标准用法，应改为“professional”。此外“the flawless lighting”中定冠词“the”可省去使表达更自然，“set the perfect angle and flawless lighting”为并列结构，保持一致。

× because the rural areas is kind of laid back.

✓ because the rural areas are kind of laid back.

主语“the rural areas”为复数，谓语动词应使用复数形式“are”。中文解释：主谓不一致，复数主语需用复数动词。

× it is more cost worthy and I can feel more related to the scenery here.

✓ it is more cost-effective and I feel more connected to the scenery here.

短语“cost worthy”不地道，正确表达为“cost-effective”或“worth the cost”。“feel more related to”搭配不当，通常用“feel more connected to”或“relate more to”。另外把“I can feel”简化为“I feel”更自然。