Views— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be more natural and concise. Start with a clear topic sentence (e.g., “No, I don’t usually take photos of views.”), avoid awkward phrases (“in a state”), and correct small grammar issues (use gerund: “capturing” not “capture”). Add one brief reason with a linking word to support your view.

例: No, I don’t usually take photos of views. I prefer to embrace the moment and enjoy the scenery instead of constantly taking out my phone, because I find it more relaxing and memorable.

提案: Make the answer more fluent and accurate. Use a clear topic sentence, correct grammar (singular/plural and word order), and a specific example. Use linking words like “because” and “for example.” Avoid vague fillers like “and so on.”

例: I prefer urban views because I’m fascinated by architecture and urban design. For example, I enjoy looking at old skyscrapers and wondering about the techniques and time needed to build them.

提案: Be clearer and more grammatically correct. Begin with a direct statement, then give a concise reason and a realistic plan. Remove hesitations (“uh”) and avoid exaggerated claims like visiting all countries. Use linking words such as “but” and “however.”

例: I like the views in my own country because I’m familiar with them, but I would also like to visit other countries to experience different landscapes and cultures. For instance, I’d love to see the mountains in Switzerland or the coastline in Japan someday.

× No, I'm not a picture taking person in a state.

✓ No, I'm not a picture-taking person.

The phrase 'picture taking' should be a compound adjective modifying 'person' and written with a hyphen as 'picture-taking'. The trailing 'in a state' is unnecessary and unclear; remove it. Use hyphenated compound adjectives before a noun to be grammatical. Suggestion: Use 'picture-taking' or rephrase as 'a person who takes pictures'.

× I prefer embracing the moment and enjoying the view instead of just taking out my phone and capture some moments of the situation.

✓ I prefer embracing the moment and enjoying the view instead of just taking out my phone and capturing moments.

Parallel structure requires verbs after 'and' to have the same form. 'Taking' and 'capture' must match; use 'capturing' to parallel 'taking'. Also 'some moments of the situation' is wordy; 'moments' suffices. Ensure parallel -ing forms after 'instead of'. Suggestion: Maintain consistent -ing forms (gerunds) for coordinated actions.

× To be honest, I prefer urban areas because it fascinates me how some architectural buildings are made and it always makes me curious about how long might that building take to stand here and so on.

✓ To be honest, I prefer urban areas because I find it fascinating how some architectural buildings are made, and it always makes me curious how long it took or how long such a building took to be built.

The original uses 'it fascinates me' which is grammatical but awkward with 'because'. Better to use 'I find it fascinating' for clarity and correct subject reference. The clause 'how long might that building take to stand here' uses incorrect word order and tense for an indirect question; use 'how long it took' or 'how long it takes' depending on context. 'To stand here' is unnatural; use 'to be built' or 'to stand' without 'here'. Suggestion: Use consistent subject and verb forms and correct indirect question word order ('how long it took' not 'how long might that building take to stand here').

× I like the views of my country but I also want to at least experience once of uh, other country and visit all of them uh, if possible to get the experience.

✓ I like the views of my country, but I would like to experience at least one other country and visit as many as possible to gain that experience.

The original misuses 'experience once of other country'—'once' is incorrect; 'at least once' is an adverbial phrase used differently. The quantifier 'one other country' is correct. Also 'visit all of them' is unrealistic; 'as many as possible' is clearer. Remove filler 'uh' and fix word order: 'I would like to experience at least one other country'. Suggestion: Use 'at least one other country' or 'at least once in another country' depending on meaning; prefer clear quantifiers and avoid fillers.

× I like the views of my country but I also want to at least experience once of uh, other country and visit all of them uh, if possible to get the experience.

✓ I like the views of my country, but I would like to experience at least one other country and visit as many as possible to gain that experience.

The phrase 'experience once of other country' uses incorrect preposition 'of' after 'experience'. Use 'experience in another country' or 'experience another country'. Also place 'at least' before the element it modifies: 'at least one other country'. Suggestion: Use correct prepositions: 'experience in another country' or 'experience another country'.