Views— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: أحسّن الطلاقة والدقة: استخدم جملة موضوع واضحة وقلل التكرار، وصحّح الأخطاء النحوية (مثلاً: picture → pictures، the animals → animals). أضف تفاصيل محددة مرتبطة بالموضوع مع استخدام رابط منطقي لكلمة سبب (because) أو لأنك تستخدم linking words مثل "because" أو "as" بشكل مناسب. احرص على ألا تتجاوز 4-5 جمل.

例: Yes, I enjoy photographing different views. I especially like taking pictures of flowers and mountain landscapes because their colors and shapes are calming. I also photograph people and animals occasionally to capture moments and emotions. Overall, photography makes me feel energized and inspired.

提案: صحّح الغموض والأخطاء: اجعل الجواب مباشراً وامسح الكلمات غير المناسبة (مثل "in the bath"). قسّم الإجابة بجملة موضوع تليها تفاصيل مقارنة مستخدماً وصلات منطقية (e.g. "but", "because", "while"). قدّم سبباً محدداً يوضح تفضيلك لاحد البيئتين أو ذكر الفرق بينهما.

例: I prefer rural views to urban ones because the countryside offers peaceful landscapes and natural scenes. While cities have interesting architecture and busy streets, rural areas provide quieter, more varied nature to photograph. So I usually choose rural locations for relaxation and better scenery.

提案: تجنّب التكرار وكن أكثر تحديداً: بدّل العبارات المكررة مثل "beautiful views and beautiful things" بتفاصيل أو أمثلة واقعية. استخدم مقارنة واضحة بين البلدين مع رابط منطقي (e.g. "both" متبوعة بتفسير why). حافظ على طول الإجابة 2-4 جمل ولا تكرر نفس الفكرة.

例: I like photographing views both in my own country and abroad because each place offers unique scenes. At home I capture familiar landscapes and local culture, while traveling I enjoy new architectural styles and different natural environments. Both kinds of trips inspire different creative shots.

× Yes, I like taking picture of different views like the flowers, people and the animals, mountains and other things because I think it's beautiful and giving me a positive energy.

✓ Yes, I like taking pictures of different views, like flowers, people, animals, mountains and other things, because I think they are beautiful and give me positive energy.

The noun 'picture' should be plural 'pictures' because it refers to multiple items (number agreement). Articles 'the' are unnecessary before general nouns like 'flowers' and 'people'. The adjective 'beautiful' is describing plural subjects, so the verb and pronoun must agree: use 'they are' and 'give' instead of 'it's' and 'giving'. Also remove the article 'a' before 'positive energy' because 'positive energy' is uncountable. Suggestion: ensure nouns match singular/plural context and keep subject-verb agreement.

× I prefer views in the bath, urban areas and rural areas because they are beautiful and they have different beautiful things.

✓ I prefer views in both urban and rural areas because they are beautiful and have different attractive features.

The phrase 'in the bath' is incorrect in context; likely intended 'both'. Use 'both urban and rural areas' rather than 'in the bath, urban areas and rural areas'. Also 'have different beautiful things' is awkward; use 'different attractive features' or 'varied beautiful things'. Remove the second 'they' for conciseness. Suggestion: use 'both' correctly before the paired nouns and choose appropriate vocabulary for 'things'.

× I prefer views in your own country or in other countries?

✓ I prefer views in my own country or in other countries.

The original student answer used 'the both' later; here the sentence as a fragment uses pronouns inconsistently. Change 'your' to 'my' because the student speaks about personal preference. Also ensure 'countries' plural is correct when referring to other nations. Suggestion: align pronouns with speaker perspective and keep plural forms when referring to multiple countries.

× I prefer views in the both because they have different beautiful views and beautiful things. I like taking pictures of the both.

✓ I prefer views in both because they have different beautiful scenes and features. I like taking pictures in both places.

Do not use 'the both'; use 'both' alone. Repeating 'beautiful views' is redundant; use 'beautiful scenes' or 'scenery' and 'features'. 'Taking pictures of the both' is incorrect — use 'taking pictures in both places' or 'in both countries'. Suggestion: remove 'the' before 'both', avoid redundancy, and use appropriate prepositions ('in' for places).