Views— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be natural and precise. Start with a clear topic sentence, avoid repeated words and wrong terms (e.g. “viewers”, “sun celebrities”), and give one or two specific details. Use linking words if adding details. Keep it under 5 sentences.

例: Yes, I do. I especially enjoy photographing mountain and countryside views because of their vivid colors and dramatic light. For example, I like shooting at sunrise when the sunlight highlights the green slopes and creates long shadows on the ridges.

提案: Give a clear direct answer and explain one main reason. Avoid hesitations and incorrect words (e.g. “dessert” instead of “desert” or “deserted streets”). Use linking words like “however” or “because” and be specific about what you like in urban views. Keep to 2–4 sentences.

例: I like both, but I prefer urban views overall because they offer interesting architecture and lively street scenes. For instance, I enjoy photographing colorful markets and busy streets while riding my motorbike through the city because the movement and people add energy to my photos.

提案: Answer directly and compare with a connective word. Be specific about what you like in each place and avoid repetition and grammar errors. Use precise adjectives and give one concrete example or reason. Limit to 3–4 sentences.

例: I enjoy views from both abroad and at home, but I’m especially fond of Switzerland for its pristine alpine scenery. At the same time, the northern region of my country is beautiful too, with towering mountains and dense green forests that make excellent subjects for landscape photos.

× Yes, I like taking pictures of different viewers like glossy mountains with lush green with lush greenery and sun celebrities.

✓ Yes, I like taking pictures of different views, like glossy mountains with lush greenery and sunshine.

The student used 'viewers' and 'sun celebrities', which are incorrect nouns here. 'Viewers' means people who watch; 'views' is correct for scenery (Grammar problem type 26: Sentence structure errors and 13: Incorrect use of adjectives or adverbs). Also 'lush green with lush greenery' is repetitive; use 'lush greenery'. 'Sun celebrities' is meaningless; use 'sunshine'. Suggestion: choose correct nouns for scenery (view, greenery, sunshine) and avoid repetition.

× Basically, I like both. I like taking picture.

✓ Basically, I like both. I like taking pictures.

The noun 'picture' should be plural 'pictures' because the activity of taking photos is general or repeated; use plural for countable nouns in general statements (Grammar problem type 1: Singular and plural issue). Suggestion: use plural forms for habitual actions: 'taking pictures'.

× I like urban areas and also rural areas.

✓ I like urban areas and rural areas too.

The original is understandable but slightly redundant. Reordering and using 'too' makes the sentence more natural. This is a minor pronoun/structure issue (Grammar problem type 12: Incorrect use of pronouns/structure). Suggestion: combine parallel items smoothly: 'urban areas and rural areas too.'

× But uh, urban areas hit different because.

✓ But urban areas feel different to me.

'Hit different' is colloquial and incomplete here; 'because' at the end creates a sentence fragment (Grammar problem type 26: Sentence structure errors and 23: Sentence without a verb). Replace with a complete, formal clause 'feel different to me.' Suggestion: avoid colloquial fragments in formal responses; provide a full clause explaining why.

× I like dessert and driving motorbike on desserts so that's why I like urban areas.

✓ I like deserts and riding a motorbike in deserts, so that's why I like rural areas.

The student used 'dessert' (a sweet food) instead of 'desert' (dry landscape) and 'driving motorbike on desserts' is incorrect. Also the reason (liking deserts) fits rural rather than urban areas, so correction adjusts meaning to be coherent. This involves word choice mistakes (Grammar problem type 13: Incorrect use of adjectives or adverbs and 26: Sentence structure errors). Suggestion: check homophones ('dessert' vs 'desert'), use 'ride a motorbike' or 'ride a motorcycle', and ensure the reason matches the referent (urban/rural).

× Usually I like the views of Switzerland, but northern areas in my country are very beautiful areas.

✓ Usually I like the views in Switzerland, but the northern areas in my country are very beautiful.

'The views of Switzerland' is acceptable but 'views in Switzerland' is more natural; 'northern areas in my country are very beautiful areas' repeats 'areas' (Grammar problem type 14: Incorrect use of quantifiers and 22: Article errors). Also add 'the' before 'northern areas' to specify. Suggestion: avoid repetition and use articles appropriately: 'the northern areas... are very beautiful.'

× I like that areas very much.

✓ I like those areas very much.

'That areas' mixes a singular demonstrative 'that' with plural 'areas'. Use 'those' for plural (Grammar problem type 1: Singular and plural issue). Suggestion: match demonstratives to number: 'this/that' for singular, 'these/those' for plural.

× There are colossal mountains and a lush greenery views.

✓ There are colossal mountains and lush green views.

'A lush greenery views' combines an article and plural noun incorrectly and mixes noun phrase forms. Use adjective 'lush green' to modify 'views' or use 'lush greenery' as a noun without 'views' (Grammar problem type 13: Incorrect use of adjectives or adverbs and 1: Singular and plural issue). Suggestion: choose consistent noun or adjective phrase: 'lush green views' or 'lush greenery.'