Views— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be more concise and natural. Start with a clear topic sentence that directly answers the question, then add one specific supporting detail and a linking word. Avoid vague phrases like “everywhere I go I'd like.” Keep it to no more than four sentences.

例: Yes, I enjoy taking pictures of different views because photos help me remember special moments. For example, when I visit a beach I photograph the sunrise to capture the colours and mood. Also, when I revisit the photos later, they remind me of the exact place and feeling at that time.

提案: Good direct answer and reason. Improve by using a linking word and adding a specific detail or comparison to make it richer and more precise. Keep sentences natural and avoid repetition like “nature” twice.

例: I prefer rural views because I love natural landscapes and tranquility. For instance, I enjoy photographing rice terraces and forests rather than busy streets, since they offer more variety in colour and texture.

提案: Answer is clear and includes reasons, but improve coherence and natural phrasing. Start with a topic sentence that directly answers, then use linking words (for example, however) and give one specific example from both home and abroad. Avoid awkward phrases like “explore other people.”

例: I prefer views in my own country overall because the Philippines offers diverse island scenery and vibrant coastal landscapes. For example, the beaches and limestone cliffs at El Nido are breathtaking. However, I also enjoy travelling abroad to see different architecture and mountain ranges that we don’t have at home.

× Everywhere I go I'd like.

✓ Everywhere I go I'd like to take pictures.

The original sentence is incomplete and omits the verb phrase. The phrase 'I'd like' requires a following verb or noun phrase; here the intended action is 'to take pictures' or 'to take photos.' Use the infinitive 'to take' or the gerund 'taking' after expressions like 'I'd like' depending on structure. Suggestion: 'I'd like to take pictures' or 'I like taking pictures.'

× I'd love to take pictures of views as it will remind me in the future of how beautiful the places I have been.

✓ I'd love to take pictures of views because they will remind me in the future of how beautiful the places I have been to.

There are several issues: 'as' is acceptable but 'because' is clearer for reason. 'It will remind me' uses singular 'it' while the subject refers to 'pictures' (plural), so use 'they will remind me.' Also 'places I have been' needs the preposition 'to' ('been to'). Ensure subject-pronoun agreement and correct verb-preposition collocation.

× I am a nature person and I'd love to explore the nature and its beauty, so I prefer the views of the rural areas rather than the skyscrapers in the city.

✓ I am a nature person and I'd love to explore nature and its beauty, so I prefer views in rural areas rather than skyscrapers in the city.

The phrase 'the nature' is incorrect; 'nature' is generally uncountable and used without 'the.' 'The views of the rural areas' is wordy; use 'views in rural areas.' Also remove the article before 'skyscrapers' to contrast categories (rural views vs skyscrapers). These changes improve natural collocation and article usage.

× We always believe in this tagline, love our own because the Philippines has so much more to offer.

✓ We always believe in this tagline: love our own, because the Philippines has so much more to offer.

The original sentence has punctuation and structure issues. Adding a colon or rephrasing clarifies the tagline introduction. 'Love our own' functions as a clause or motto; punctuation improves readability. This is mainly a sentence structure and punctuation correction to convey meaning clearly.

× It has more than 6000 islands and the views are breathtakingly beautiful.

✓ It has more than 6,000 islands, and the views are breathtakingly beautiful.

Grammatically this sentence is acceptable, but adding a comma before 'and' connects two independent clauses. Also standard number formatting (6,000) improves readability. No plural/singular error; included to note minor punctuation improvement.

× However, I also want to explore other people or other places as it will provide me beautiful sceneries too.

✓ However, I also want to explore other places or meet other people, as they will provide me with beautiful scenery too.

'Explore other people' is unnatural; use 'meet other people' and 'explore other places.' 'It will provide me beautiful sceneries' has several errors: 'it' is vague—use 'they' to refer to 'places' or 'people.' 'Provide me with' is the correct verb pattern. 'Scenery' is an uncountable noun, so use 'scenery' not 'sceneries.' These changes fix pronoun reference, verb pattern, and noun countability.