Views— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Improve grammar and fluency: use correct verb forms and remove redundancy. Start with a clear topic sentence, then add one specific reason and a brief example. Use linking words like "because" or "so" appropriately. Keep answers to no more than 3–4 sentences.

例: Yes, I enjoy taking photos of different scenes because they help me preserve memories. For example, I often photograph street markets and festivals so I can look back on the atmosphere and remember details of the day.

提案: Be concise and specific: state your preference in one clear sentence, then add two concrete details as support. Avoid filler sounds and repetitive words. Use linking words like "because" and list items clearly.

例: I prefer rural areas because they offer more natural scenery and interesting everyday activities. For example, I like photographing farmers at work and wide landscapes with dramatic clouds.

提案: Clarify and organize ideas: give a direct answer then support it with a specific example. Correct vocabulary (e.g., "hot air balloons", not "air blown"); avoid hesitations and incorrect word choices. Limit to 2–3 sentences and use linking phrase like "for example".

例: I prefer photographing views in other countries because they offer unique scenes and cultural events. For example, I would love to photograph the hot air balloons over Cappadocia in Turkey because the colorful balloons against the rocky landscape would make striking images.

× Yes, I want to taking pictures in different views because they we capture our memory in a mobile in a picture that we recall and see that again and again.

✓ Yes, I want to take pictures of different views because they capture our memories on a mobile phone, and we can recall and look at them again and again.

The student used the verb + -ing form incorrectly after 'want'. After 'want' the base form (infinitive without to) or 'to' + base form is required; here 'want to take' is correct. 'They we capture' is ungrammatical and should be 'they capture'. 'Memory' should be plural 'memories' to match 'they'. 'In a mobile in a picture' is awkward; use 'on a mobile phone' and 'look at them' for clarity. Suggestion: use 'want to take' and simplify the clause to 'they capture our memories on a mobile phone'.

× I want to take many pictures in different places, different activities so I could enjoy that.

✓ I want to take many pictures of different places and activities so I can enjoy them.

The original uses inconsistent prepositions and modal verbs. Use 'of' to indicate what you take pictures of: 'pictures of different places and activities'. 'So I could enjoy that' is awkward and shifts tense; use 'so I can enjoy them' to match present intention and refer back to 'pictures' with 'them'. Suggestion: keep subject and verb tense consistent and use pronouns that agree in number.

× Uh, I, I prefer on a ruler rural areas because there is a many things to capture.

✓ Uh, I prefer rural areas because there are many things to capture.

'Prefer on a ruler rural areas' contains multiple errors. Remove 'on a ruler' (probably mispronunciation). Use 'prefer rural areas'. After 'there' with plural noun use 'are' not 'is': 'there are many things'. Use 'many' directly with plural noun: 'many things'. Suggestion: say 'I prefer rural areas because there are many things to capture.'

× Uh, uh, natural walk, a natural people, natural work and everything is natural weather and view clouds, cars and everything.

✓ For example, natural landscapes, local people, traditional work, and natural weather, views of clouds, cars, and so on.

The student used 'natural' before nouns awkwardly and incorrect singular/plural forms like 'a natural people'. 'Natural walk' is unclear. Use appropriate noun phrases: 'natural landscapes' instead of 'natural walk', 'local people' or 'natural people' replaced by 'local people', 'traditional work' or 'local work'. Maintain plural forms for lists and parallel structure. Suggestion: prepare a short list with parallel nouns.

× Definitely I want to, uh, take views in other countries because there is a many activities there.

✓ Definitely I want to take photos in other countries because there are many activities there.

'Want to' should be followed by base verb 'take'. 'Take views' is unnatural; use 'take photos' or 'take pictures'. Use 'there are' for plural 'many activities' not 'there is a many activities'. Suggestion: use 'there are many activities' and natural collocations like 'take photos'.

× Uh, if I were, uh, told you about Turkey, there is a Cappadocia, there is a air blown that I want to capture there.

✓ If I told you about Turkey, there is Cappadocia and hot-air balloons that I want to capture there.

'If I were told you' is incorrect conditional phrasing. For a simple conditional about describing a place, use 'If I told you about Turkey' or 'When I talk about Turkey'. 'There is a Cappadocia' should be 'there is Cappadocia' or 'there is a region called Cappadocia'. 'a air blown' is incorrect; intended 'hot-air balloons' or 'air balloons'. Suggestion: use accurate nouns and simple conditional 'If I told you...'.

× I want to, uh, wear out, uh, frogs to capture that moment, a car movement.

✓ I want to fly in a hot-air balloon to capture that moment and the movement of the cars.

The original sentence contains wrong words: 'wear out' and 'frogs' are incorrect choices; likely meant 'fly in' and 'balloons'. Pronoun/reference errors: 'that moment, a car movement' is unclear; revise to 'that moment and the movement of the cars' to clarify what will be captured. Suggestion: choose correct verbs and nouns for intended actions and keep objects clear.

× So I want that moment that views other countries.

✓ So I want to capture those moments and views in other countries.

The sentence lacks proper verb and object structure. 'I want that moment that views other countries' is ungrammatical. Use 'I want to capture those moments and views in other countries' to express desire to photograph scenes abroad. Suggestion: use 'want to' + verb and pluralize 'moments' and 'views' to match context.