Views— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be clearer and more natural. Start with a direct topic sentence (Yes, I enjoy taking photos of different views.), avoid repetition and filler words, and give specific examples with brief explanations. Use linking words to connect ideas (for example, because, so). Keep the answer to no more than 3–4 sentences.

例: Yes, I enjoy taking pictures of different views. For example, I often photograph places that are meaningful to me, such as spots where my family gathers or where I spent time with friends, because these photos help me remember those moments. I also try to go out regularly to find interesting scenes to capture.

提案: Clarify and correct word choice and sentence structure. Begin with a clear topic sentence stating your preference, then briefly contrast with the past using linking words (but, however, because). Provide specific reasons and avoid vague phrases like "livelihood atmosphere." Keep it within 2–4 concise sentences.

例: I prefer views in urban areas now. I used to enjoy the countryside because it felt peaceful, but I like cities these days because they offer cosy cafes, well-maintained walking paths and a lively atmosphere that keeps me interested.

提案: Correct vocabulary and express the idea clearly. Start with a direct answer (I prefer views in other countries.), then give a clear reason using proper words (e.g., 'stay in the same place' not 'stay a thin place'). Use one or two supporting sentences with concrete reasons (variety, new experiences). Avoid repetition and unclear metaphors.

例: I prefer views in other countries. Staying in one place for many years can feel repetitive, so I enjoy travelling abroad to see different cultures, architecture and landscapes, which gives me fresh perspectives and inspiration.

× Yes, I like, I think I like recording many meaningful, meaningful sites like my my family smells or my friend smells.

✓ Yes, I like taking photos of many meaningful places, such as where my family lives or where my friends live.

The student used incorrect and confusing words 'smells' and repeated words. This is a pronoun/word choice error and unclear reference. Replace 'smells' with 'lives' or 'home' to refer to family/friends' residences and remove repetition. Use 'taking photos' and 'places' for clarity.

× Umm, and I always go out to take photos.

✓ I always go out to take photos.

The sentence is acceptable but the filler 'Umm, and' is unnecessary. The present simple 'always go out' correctly expresses a habitual action; remove fillers for clarity.

× I prefer views in urban areas now.

✓ I prefer views in urban areas now.

This sentence is grammatically correct in present simple to express a current preference. No change other than confirming correctness; maintain present tense for current preference.

× I used to enjoy the countryside because it felt peaceful but I like sitting with more those days because they offer cafes, walking paths and livelihood atmosphere that makes them more interesting.

✓ I used to enjoy the countryside because it felt peaceful, but now I prefer urban areas because they have cafes, walking paths and a lively atmosphere, which makes them more interesting.

Multiple issues: awkward phrase 'sitting with more those days' and 'livelihood atmosphere' are incorrect word choices and sentence structure. Rephrase to 'now I prefer urban areas' and use 'have' for amenities. Use 'a lively atmosphere' and 'which makes them more interesting' for correct relative clause and subject-verb agreement.

× I prefer wheels in other countries because I think as a state, as a state, if you stay a thin place for many years, you will be hit there.

✓ I prefer views in other countries because I think if you stay in the same place for many years, it becomes boring.

The student used 'wheels' instead of 'views' and 'as a state' and 'stay a thin place' are incorrect expressions. This is a vocabulary/pronoun reference and word-choice error. Replace with 'views' and 'stay in the same place' and 'becomes boring' to convey the intended meaning. Simplify the sentence for clarity.

× So I think I prefer wheels in other countries.

✓ So I think I prefer views in other countries.

Again 'wheels' is incorrect for 'views'; this is a word-choice/pronoun-type error. Correcting to 'views' matches the question about scenery and fixes the meaning.