Views— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be more concise and natural: start with a direct topic sentence, avoid repetition, correct small grammar issues, and add a clear reason with a brief example. Keep the answer within 3–4 sentences and use linking words (for example, because, so, and) to connect ideas.

例: Yes, I enjoy photographing different views, especially scenic spots and historical sites. I take photos mainly to preserve memories and personal experiences rather than to show off the place. For example, a photo of a mountain hike reminds me of the people I was with and how I felt that day.

提案: Improve coherence and grammar: begin with a clear preference statement, use linking words to contrast (e.g., although, however), avoid awkward phrasing ("far pace" -> "fast pace"), and complete your final thought. Provide one concise reason and a short example of what you enjoy there.

例: I prefer rural views to urban ones because they are quieter and less stressful. Although cities can be impressive, the fast pace and constant traffic make them tiring. For example, on my days off I like to visit mountains and lakes to relax and enjoy the peaceful scenery.

提案: Clarify and correct grammar: give a clear topic sentence, explain the proverb briefly, and refine grammar and vocabulary (e.g., "learn from social medias" -> "seen on social media"). Use linking words to make the argument logical and provide a brief personal example or consequence.

例: I prefer seeing views in other countries because experiencing places firsthand teaches you more than reading about them. As the Chinese proverb says, traveling is more valuable than only reading. For instance, photos or social media posts can be misleading, so visiting a country in person gives a truer impression of its culture and landscape.

× 'I do prefer to take pictures of different views from my perspectives.'

✓ 'I prefer to take pictures of different views from my perspective.'

'Do prefer' is emphatic and unusual here; use 'prefer'. "Perspectives" is plural incorrectly; use singular 'perspective' to match the singular viewpoint. Suggestion: use simple present 'I prefer' and 'my perspective' for clarity.'

× 'Taking pictures of different views such as scenic spot, historical sites, etc, is to recall life experiences instead of showing how beautiful these places are.'

✓ 'Taking pictures of different views, such as scenic spots and historical sites, is a way to recall life experiences rather than to show how beautiful these places are.'

'Scenic spot' should be plural 'scenic spots' to match 'different views'; use parallel structure 'such as scenic spots and historical sites'. The phrase 'is to recall' is unidiomatic; use 'is a way to recall' and 'rather than to show' for correct contrast.'

× 'Besides, I can admire these pictures and recall bad or good memories in the future.'

✓ 'Also, I can admire these pictures and recall good or bad memories in the future.'

'Besides' is acceptable but 'Also' is more natural here. Order 'good or bad' is more idiomatic than 'bad or good'. The present modal 'can' plus 'in the future' is acceptable; no tense change needed. Suggest using 'also' and natural adjective order.'

× 'I like views in rural areas most although the views in urban areas are prosperous and magnificent but they cause a sense of stress because of the far pace of life.'

✓ 'I prefer views in rural areas, although urban views are prosperous and magnificent; they can cause stress because of the fast pace of life.'

'Like...most' is awkward; 'prefer' fits comparison. The sentence had both 'although' and 'but' causing redundancy; use one. 'Far pace' is incorrect adjective; use 'fast pace'. 'Cause a sense of stress' is wordy; 'cause stress' is concise.'

× 'In these views you also can see people commuting.'

✓ 'In these scenes you can also see people commuting.'

'Views' is not the best word for scenes of daily life; 'scenes' is clearer. Word order 'you also can' should be 'you can also' for natural English.'

× 'When I have two day off work I would rather go to rural areas enjoying natural views such as mountains and lakes, feeling quiet and snow life which give me a.'

✓ 'When I have two days off work, I would rather go to rural areas to enjoy natural views such as mountains and lakes, feeling quiet and slow-paced life which gives me peace.'

'Two day' should be plural 'two days'. Missing commas. Use 'to enjoy' after 'go' (verb + to-infinitive). 'Snow life' is incorrect; likely 'slow-paced life'. 'Which give me a' is incomplete and has subject-verb disagreement; change to 'which gives me peace' to complete the idea and correct agreement.

× 'I prefer views in other countries.'

✓ 'I prefer views in other countries.'

'Sentence is grammatically correct. Kept as present simple to express general preference; no change needed.'

× 'The views about country learn from social medias and book may differ from the actual situation.'

✓ 'The views about a country learned from social media and books may differ from the actual situation.'

'About country' needs an article: 'about a country'. 'Learn from' should be past participle 'learned' to form a passive adjective phrase modifying 'views'. 'Social medias' and 'book' should be 'social media' (uncountable) and plural 'books'. Also adjust word order for clarity.'

× 'So in my opinion looking these views in person is a better way of knowing the world.'

✓ 'So, in my opinion, seeing these places in person is a better way to learn about the world.'

'Looking these views' is ungrammatical; use 'seeing these places' or 'viewing them'. 'A better way of knowing the world' is awkward; use 'a better way to learn about the world'. Added commas for discourse markers.'