Views— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Cevap doğal ama çok dolgu kelime (uh, umm) ve tekrarlamalar var; cümleler daha kısa ve net olmalı. Konuyu doğrudan belirtip bir veya iki spesifik örnek verin ve bağlaç kullanarak akışı düzeltin. Örneğin neden fotoğraf çektiğinizi ve hangi tür manzaraların sizi mutlu ettiğini belirtin.

例: Yes, I enjoy photographing different views because it helps me capture memorable moments. For example, I love taking sunrise shots at the beach and city skyline photos at night, which always make me feel happy and inspired.

提案: Cevap belirgin ama dağınık ve eksik bitiyor; bağlantı kelimeleri ve daha spesifik detaylar ekleyin. Karşılaştırma yaparken 'because' ve 'however' gibi bağlaçları kullanın ve her alan için birer açık örnek verin. Ayrıca cümlenizi tamamlayın.

例: I prefer both urban and rural views for different reasons. Urban areas interest me because of cultural attractions like museums and theaters, while rural areas attract me for their wildlife and peaceful landscapes.

提案: Cevap iyi bir fikri ifade ediyor fakat tekrarlamalar ve dolgu sesleri var; daha doğal ve özlü olun. Tercihinizi net söyleyip nedenini kısa bir örnekle destekleyin. Örneğin farklı ülkelerde görmek istediğiniz belirli bir mekan ya da deneyimi belirtin.

例: I prefer seeing views in other countries because I’m curious about different cultures and landscapes. For instance, I’d love to photograph traditional markets in Morocco and the rice terraces in Bali to learn about local life and scenery.

× I like taking pictures of different views, uh, because I can catch uh, lots of uh, moments, umm, of different places and I feel happy if I uh, see different thing.

✓ I like taking pictures of different views because I can capture lots of moments from different places and I feel happy if I see different things.

The phrase 'different thing' is singular but refers to multiple items; use plural 'different things'. Also 'catch' in this context is better replaced by 'capture' for photographic moments and remove filler words. Suggestion: use plural nouns when speaking about multiple items and choose verbs appropriate to context. Grammar point: change singular noun to plural to match meaning.

× And I think both of them, because urban areas and rural areas are, uh, shown lots of things, uh, for people, uh, in urban areas I can see lots of museums and uh, cinemas, theater.

✓ I think both, because urban and rural areas show lots of things for people; in urban areas I can see many museums, cinemas, and theaters.

The original has awkward conjunction 'And' and wrong tense/form 'are shown lots of things' passive phrasing; use active 'show'. Also 'cinemas, theater' should be parallel and plural 'theaters'. Suggestion: avoid starting sentences with unnecessary conjunctions and use active voice and parallel list structure.

× And in rural areas I can see different, uh, types of, uh, animals and.

✓ In rural areas I can see different types of animals.

The sentence ends with 'and' leaving it incomplete; remove trailing 'and' and keep 'types of animals' plural. Suggestion: complete lists or end sentences properly and ensure nouns match plurality.

× I'm very curious about, uh, different cultures and different views.

✓ I'm very curious about different cultures and different views.

Remove filler 'uh' for clarity; sentence structure is otherwise correct. Suggestion: avoid filler words for fluency.

× I want to travel around the world and so, uh, it's not important to see something in my own country or another country.

✓ I want to travel around the world, so it doesn't matter whether I see things in my own country or another country.

Use 'doesn't matter' and plural 'things' instead of 'it's not important to see something'. Also restructure for natural English: 'whether' introduces alternatives. Suggestion: use 'doesn't matter whether' when indicating indifference between options.

× Uh, I want to see, uh, lots of things, uh, from, uh, the countries all over the world.

✓ I want to see lots of things from countries all over the world.

Remove unnecessary articles and fillers; 'the countries all over the world' is wordy—use 'countries all over the world'. Keep 'lots of things' plural to match meaning. Suggestion: streamline phrases and keep nouns plural when generalizing about many countries.