Views— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be more concise and natural: start with a clear topic sentence, give one or two specific supporting details, and avoid redundant phrases. Use linking words if you add details. Also correct small grammar issues (e.g., “an Instagram account” and “that I take”).

例: Yes, I enjoy taking photos of different views. For example, I run an Instagram account where I post pictures of interesting classroom corners and candid shots of friends, because I like capturing everyday scenes that tell a story.

提案: Provide a clear topic sentence, then give two precise reasons with linking words. Avoid repetition and correct awkward phrasing (e.g., “at present with the nature” → “at one with nature”). Keep answers within 3–4 sentences.

例: I prefer views in rural areas because they are peaceful and less crowded. For instance, the countryside's slow pace helps me relax, and the natural scenery—like fields and forests—feels refreshing and makes me feel at one with nature.

提案: Make a direct statement, then give specific examples and a concise reason. Fix grammar (e.g., “places that have various landscapes such as beaches and forests” and avoid vague phrases like “study a lot about nature”). Use linking words to structure the answer.

例: I prefer views in my own country because it offers diverse landscapes. For example, we have beautiful beaches and dense forests, and you can often see native wildlife, which makes it ideal for nature walks and learning about local ecosystems.

× I have a separate account and Instagram where I post all the photos that I took of random things such as classrooms or even my friends.

✓ I have a separate account on Instagram where I post all the photos that I have taken of random things such as classrooms or even my friends.

The original sentence uses the simple past 'took' in a relative clause connected to a present-state 'I have'. When referring to past actions with relevance to the present (photos currently on the account), the present perfect 'have taken' is more appropriate. Also 'account and Instagram' is awkward: 'account on Instagram' correctly expresses the relationship. Suggestion: use present perfect for past actions with present relevance and use correct preposition 'on' with 'Instagram'.

× I prefer views in rural areas. It's different from the city's fast-paced life.

✓ I prefer views in rural areas. It's different from the city's fast-paced life.

No correction to wording needed here; however some learners might omit the definite article before 'city's' which would be incorrect. The sentence as given correctly uses the definite article in the possessive form 'the city's' to indicate the characteristic fast pace of city life. Keep the structure as is.

× Here in the countryside you feel at ease, you feel calm and at present with the nature.

✓ Here in the countryside you feel at ease, you feel calm and at one with nature.

The phrase 'at present with the nature' is incorrect. 'At present' refers to time, not a state of harmony. The idiomatic expression is 'at one with nature' (no article before 'nature'). Also omit the article 'the' before 'nature' in this idiom. Suggestion: use idiomatic fixed phrase 'at one with nature' to express harmony with nature.

× I love the views here in my country, it gives you a lot of places that has various themes like beaches and forests alike and there are also a lot of different animals where you can study a lot about nature.

✓ I love the views here in my country; it gives you a lot of places that have various themes like beaches and forests, and there are also many different animals you can study to learn about nature.

This complex sentence contains several problems. 'Places that has' is wrong because 'places' is plural and requires the plural verb 'have' (subject-verb agreement). The comma splice between the two independent clauses should be fixed (use a semicolon or conjunction). 'A lot of different animals where you can study a lot about nature' is awkward: use 'many different animals you can study to learn about nature' to express purpose and avoid repetition of 'a lot'. Suggestions: ensure plural subjects take plural verbs, avoid comma splices, use clearer relative clauses and vary vocabulary to avoid repetition.