Views— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be more fluent and reduce hesitation; correct grammar and use concise, natural phrasing. Start with a clear topic sentence, then add one or two specific supporting details using linking words. Avoid filler words like "uh" and fix tense/grammar (e.g., "It helps me remember places").

例: Yes, I really enjoy taking photos when I travel. For example, I photograph landscapes and local scenes to help me remember the trip, and then I often share my best shots with friends on social media.

提案: Give a clear topic sentence and follow with specific reasons using linking words. Use correct grammar (e.g., "I prefer rural areas" not "I would like to prefer"). Replace vague words with precise ones and avoid hesitation sounds.

例: I prefer rural areas because I love natural scenery. For instance, mountain views and rivers relax me, and rural trips help me feel peaceful after a busy week.

提案: Clarify your meaning and use correct vocabulary and grammar. Start with a clear statement (e.g., "I prefer views in other countries") then give specific reasons and examples. Avoid awkward word choices (e.g., "gantry view picards") and use appropriate adjectives (exciting, refreshing).

例: I prefer views in other countries because seeing new places is exciting. For example, exploring foreign architecture and local culture gives me fresh perspectives and memorable photo opportunities.

× Absolutely, I do really love capturing the picture when I travel.

✓ Absolutely, I really love capturing pictures when I travel.

Use of present participle 'capturing' is acceptable, but 'the picture' is incorrect because speaker means pictures in general. This is a singular/plural issue (use plural 'pictures'). Also 'do really love' has unnecessary auxiliary 'do' for emphasis; 'I really love' is more natural. Suggestion: remove 'do' and use plural 'pictures' to match general habit.

× It helped me uh, to get memories and the places to be remember.

✓ It helped me to create memories and remember the places.

Original uses incorrect verbs and phrasing: 'get memories' and 'places to be remember' are ungrammatical. Replace with 'create memories' and use active infinitive 'to remember' for correct verb form and meaning. This fixes verb choice and word order.

× I often shared my picture on social media with friends.

✓ I often share my pictures on social media with friends.

Tense and number are incorrect. The question is general (present), so use present simple 'share' not past 'shared'. Also use plural 'pictures' to speak generally. Suggestion: use 'I often share my pictures'.

× Personally I would like to prefer rural areas uh because I really love the nature umm especially Mountain View and the river and when I travel to the rural area it get me more peaceful.

✓ Personally, I prefer rural areas because I really love nature, especially mountain views and rivers, and when I travel to rural areas it makes me feel more peaceful.

Multiple errors: 'would like to prefer' is incorrect — use simple 'prefer' for habitual preference. 'the nature' should be 'nature' (article error). 'Mountain View' should be plural and lowercase as a general noun: 'mountain views'. 'the river' -> 'rivers' when speaking generally. 'it get me more peaceful' has subject-verb agreement and phrasing errors; use 'it makes me feel more peaceful'. Suggestions: use present simple for preference, remove unnecessary articles, make nouns plural when general, and correct subject-verb agreement.

× Personally, I'd prefer the others gantry view picards as it was so excited for me.

✓ Personally, I'd prefer the views in other countries because I find them very exciting.

Original sentence contains several incorrect words and pronoun use: 'the others gantry view picards' is ungrammatical — likely intended 'views in other countries'. 'it was so excited for me' incorrectly uses 'it' and the adjective 'excited' (which describes people); use 'I find them very exciting'. Suggestion: replace with clear noun phrase 'views in other countries' and use correct subject and adjective form.

× I'm too relieved the session viewing the new country and experiencing new culture and architecture.

✓ I really enjoy visiting new countries and experiencing their cultures and architectures.

'I'm too relieved the session viewing' is ungrammatical: 'relieved' is wrong word and 'session viewing' is awkward. Use present simple 'I really enjoy visiting' for habitual or general preference. Also use plural 'countries', 'cultures', and 'architectures' (or 'architecture' as an uncountable noun). Suggestion: use 'I really enjoy visiting new countries and experiencing their cultures and architecture.'

× It is very excited for me.

✓ It is very exciting for me.

'Excited' describes a person who feels excitement; 'exciting' describes something that causes excitement. The speaker should use 'exciting' to describe the experience. Suggestion: use 'It is very exciting for me' or 'I find it very exciting.'