Views— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be more concise and correct grammar; start with a clear topic sentence, then give two specific supporting details using linking words. Avoid fillers and repetition (e.g. remove "like", "the, the, the"). Use past simple correctly and choose precise vocabulary (e.g. "capture" instead of "memorize").

例: Yes, I love taking photographs. I began seriously photographing landscapes in my first year of university, and I enjoy it because it helps me capture special moments and the emotions I felt then. For example, I once photographed a sunset that reminded me of a peaceful evening with friends.

提案: Give a direct answer first, then add two specific reasons with linking words. Eliminate hesitations and vague phrases. Use correct grammar (e.g. "rural areas make me feel connected") and richer vocabulary (e.g. "tranquil", "community").

例: I prefer rural views. Firstly, rural areas feel more tranquil and allow me to connect with nature; secondly, the local communities are friendlier, which makes photos feel more personal. For instance, I enjoy photographing farmers working in golden fields because it shows daily life and atmosphere.

提案: Answer directly and avoid self-contradiction. State a clear preference, then explain with specific reasons and give one example. Correct grammar and reduce fillers. If you mention another country, explain why (e.g. scenery, architecture).

例: Generally, I prefer photographing views in my own country because I know the places and their cultural context. However, I would also love to visit Switzerland for its dramatic mountains and pristine lakes, which would offer very different photographic opportunities.

× Since I was, I think in the first year of university, I started off taking pictures because for me, like taking pictures is not like something as simple.

✓ Since I was, I think, in my first year of university, I started taking pictures because, for me, taking pictures is not something simple.

The phrase 'started off taking' is awkward; 'started taking' is correct. 'Is not like something as simple' is incorrect phrasing for present simple; use 'is not something simple.' Also add 'my' before 'first year' for correct possessive. Remove extra filler words for clarity.

× It's memorize the, the, the, it's memorize the moment.

✓ It preserves the moment.

'Memorize' is a verb that requires an object and is usually used as 'to memorize.' Native speakers describe photos as 'preserving' or 'capturing' a moment. Replace the repeated fragments with a concise present simple verb that fits the context.

× It's also memorize the emotions that you feel in that moment.

✓ It also captures the emotions you feel in that moment.

Same issue: use 'captures' (present simple) instead of 'memorize' to describe what a picture does. 'That you feel' can be shortened to 'you feel' for natural phrasing.

× No, I'm, uh, I'm more like an, umm, rural girl.

✓ No, I'm more of a rural girl.

The filler words 'like' and 'an' are used incorrectly. The correct idiom is 'more of a ...' to express preference or identity. Remove fillers for grammatical accuracy.

× I love like simple environment and simple people.

✓ I love simple environments and simple people.

'Like' is used as a filler and should be removed. Use plural 'environments' to match 'people' and generalize the statement. 'Simple' correctly modifies both nouns.

× for me, like rural area is make me feel like connecting to the environment and connecting to the areas more than as the urban areas, the tools, buildings and.

✓ For me, rural areas make me feel more connected to the environment and the place than urban areas do.

Subject-verb agreement: 'rural area is make' is incorrect. Use plural 'rural areas make' or singular with correct verb. 'Feel like connecting to' is unnatural; use 'feel more connected to.' Remove 'the tools, buildings and' fragment; if intended, write 'buildings and tools' but compare whole areas succinctly. Ensure parallel structure and correct comparative phrasing.

× In my country, I love like going to my hometown, but uh, if you it's a difficult question to ask for me, umm zip question to answer it.

✓ In my country, I love going to my hometown, but it's a difficult question for me to answer.

There are multiple unnecessary fillers and word order issues: 'if you it's a difficult question to ask for me, umm zip question to answer it' is ungrammatical. Simplify to 'it's a difficult question for me to answer.' Remove 'like' and other fillers for clarity.

× So I prefer like my, I would say I prefer my country, but if I need to choose like can I choose choose?

✓ So I would say I prefer my country, but if I had to choose...

Avoid repetitive and unclear pronoun and filler use. 'If I need to choose' with 'can I choose choose?' is ungrammatical. Use conditional 'if I had to choose' to express hypothetical choice. Remove repeated words and 'like' fillers.

× I'll choose like going to different countries such as Switzerland.

✓ I would choose to go to different countries, such as Switzerland.

Use the infinitive 'to go' after 'choose' rather than gerund 'going' in this structure. 'Like' is a filler and should be removed. Use conditional 'I would' to match hypothetical context.

× I love Switzerland. I never like go.

✓ I love Switzerland. I have never been there.

'I never like go' is ungrammatical. To express lack of prior visits, use present perfect 'I have never been there.' 'Like' is an unnecessary filler and 'go' should be replaced with 'been there' for correct meaning.