Views— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be more concise and correct minor grammar and word choice errors. Start with a clear topic sentence, then add one or two specific supporting details using linking words. Avoid fragments like “Also forest natural places” and replace with a complete sentence. Use precise vocabulary (e.g., ‘sunsets’, ‘forests’, ‘natural landscapes’) and limit to about 3–4 sentences.

例: Yes, I enjoy photographing different views because they capture memories and atmosphere. For example, I often photograph sunsets at the beach and tranquil forest landscapes when I travel. These images remind me of the places I visited and look great in my photo album.

提案: Clarify and correct vocabulary (use ‘lighting’ not ‘lightning’) and tighten the answer. Begin with a clear preference sentence, then support with specific reasons and an example using linking words (‘because’, ‘for example’). Keep it within 3–4 sentences and avoid repetition.

例: I prefer rural areas because they feel more relaxed and offer peaceful photo opportunities. For example, in the countryside I can photograph scenic nature without crowds, and the open space and fresh air help me concentrate on composition and lighting.

提案: Provide a clearer topic sentence that directly answers the question, then give a specific contrast and an example. Use linking words (‘however’, ‘when’, ‘because’) to improve coherence. Avoid short, vague sentences like “It depends on where I am” without explanation.

例: I don’t have a strong preference because it depends on the location; however, when I travel abroad I especially enjoy photographing unique architecture and historic sites. For example, while on holiday I focus on local buildings and monuments because they reveal the culture and differ from what I see at home.

× For instance, I often take photos of sunset at the beach when I travel.

✓ For instance, I often take photos of the sunset at the beach when I travel.

When referring to a specific event or a generic instance of a noun like 'sunset' in a particular location, English normally requires the definite article 'the'. Use 'the sunset' to indicate the specific phenomenon you photograph at the beach.

× Also forest natural places.

✓ I also take pictures of forests and natural places.

The original fragment lacks a verb and has incorrect word order. To form a complete sentence, include a subject and verb and use correct noun forms and conjunctions: 'forests and natural places'.

× I like both, but I generally prefer rural areas to urban ones because they feel more relaxed and comfortable when I take photos.

✓ I like both, but I generally prefer rural areas to urban ones because they feel more relaxed and comfortable when I am taking photos.

The original 'when I take photos' is not strictly wrong, but placing the progressive 'am taking' emphasizes the ongoing experience of taking photos in that setting, matching the continuous feeling 'feel more relaxed'. Use present continuous to show actions happening during the photo-taking process.

× For instance, in the countryside I can photograph scenic nature scenes without crowds, and fresh air and open space help me focus on lightning.

✓ For instance, in the countryside I can photograph scenic natural scenes without crowds, and the fresh air and open space help me focus on lighting.

Two issues: 'scenic nature scenes' is redundant and awkward; 'natural scenes' is clearer. 'Lightning' refers to electrical storms; the correct word is 'lighting' (illumination). Also include 'the' before 'fresh air' to refer to that specific beneficial quality in the countryside.

× Honestly it doesn't matter much.

✓ Honestly, it doesn't matter much.

This correction adds a comma after the introductory adverb 'Honestly' rather than an article change; however, within the provided problem types the closest category is article/errors in sentence punctuation tied to introductory elements. The comma improves clarity; grammatically the sentence is otherwise fine. (If strictly requiring one of the listed types, this entry is included to note a minor punctuation improvement.)