Views— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Clarify and tighten your response. Start with a clear topic sentence, avoid repetition, and limit to 3–4 concise sentences. Use one linking phrase to connect examples and give a specific detail to make the answer more vivid.

例: Yes, I enjoy taking pictures of many kinds of views. For example, I often photograph my pets because they behave in amusing ways, and I also like natural scenery such as forest rivers when I go hiking. When I visit interesting places, I usually take landscape shots to remember the atmosphere.

提案: Avoid repetition and correct word choice. Provide one clear reason and a specific example with linking words. Keep sentences concise and fix grammar (plural/singular, articles).

例: I generally prefer rural views because I love photographing natural scenes and wildflowers. For example, last year I spent a weekend in a small village taking pictures of old trees and fields of wildflowers, which I found very relaxing.

提案: Make your comparison clearer and correct vocabulary/grammar errors. Start with a concise topic sentence stating preference or balance, use a linking word to contrast, and give one specific example of a scene at home and abroad.

例: I enjoy views both at home and abroad, but for different reasons. For instance, foreign cities interest me because their architecture and vibrant street life feel fresh, while at home I appreciate familiar landscapes like coastal villages that give me comfort and nostalgic memories.

× Also when I go somewhere nice.

✓ Also when I go somewhere nice, I take pictures.

This fragment lacks a main verb and is therefore a sentence structure error. Add a main clause (subject + verb) to complete the thought. Suggestion: include what you do when you go somewhere nice (e.g., 'I take pictures').

× I generally prefer rural areas because I enjoy photographing nature, flowers, flowers and traditional willets.

✓ I generally prefer rural areas because I enjoy photographing nature, flowers and traditional villages.

Repetition 'flowers, flowers' is incorrect and likely a typo; 'willets' is not appropriate here (probably intended 'villages' or 'wildlife'). This is an adjective/noun choice error. Remove duplication and use the correct noun. Suggestion: proofread for repeated words and choose the intended noun ('villages' or 'wildlife').

× For example, last year I spent a weekend in small village taking pictures of the old trees wildflowers which I found very relaxing.

✓ For example, last year I spent a weekend in a small village taking pictures of the old trees and wildflowers, which I found very relaxing.

Missing article before 'small village' and missing conjunction 'and' between 'trees' and 'wildflowers' create sentence structure problems. Also a comma is needed before the nonrestrictive clause 'which I found very relaxing.' Suggestion: add the article 'a', insert 'and' between items, and place a comma before 'which'.

× I enjoy wheels boats in my own country and abroad when I'm travel.

✓ I enjoy wheels and boats in my own country and abroad when I travel.

The phrase 'I'm travel' is an incorrect verb form; use base verb 'travel' after 'when' (present simple) for habitual/general statements. Also 'wheels boats' is unclear; likely intended 'wheels and boats' or 'wheels, boats'—separate items with conjunction. Suggestion: use 'when I travel' for general habits and join list items correctly.

× I love photographing foreign cities because they are unique. Architecture and vibrant St. life feel fresh and inspiring while at home.

✓ I love photographing foreign cities because they are unique; their architecture and vibrant street life feel fresh and inspiring compared with at home.

Sentence 'Architecture and vibrant St. life...' is fragmented and contains abbreviation 'St.' unclear here. It's a sentence structure error and unclear noun phrase. Combine into one sentence, clarify 'street', and add possessive 'their' to link to 'foreign cities'. Suggestion: use 'their architecture and vibrant street life' and connect clauses properly.

× I appreciate familiar landscape and the comfort they bring.

✓ I appreciate familiar landscapes and the comfort they bring.

Mismatch between singular noun 'landscape' and plural pronoun 'they' creates a pronoun-number inconsistency. Use plural 'landscapes' to agree with 'they'. Suggestion: ensure noun number matches pronoun reference.