Views— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Improve fluency and sentence structure: give a clear topic sentence, avoid hesitations and filler words, and complete sentences without pauses. Be concise and add one specific detail or example. Use linking words if you add more than one point.

例: Yes, I enjoy photographing different landscapes because it’s one of my main hobbies. For example, I often take pictures in forests and mountains where the light and textures change throughout the day, which makes each photo unique.

提案: Reduce hesitations and repeat words, and produce a clear topic sentence followed by a specific reason. Use a linking word to connect the reason and add one concrete detail about what you like.

例: I prefer rural views because I grew up in a small town surrounded by large green areas. For instance, I like the quiet fields and tree-lined roads which feel more peaceful than busy city streets.

提案: Clarify meaning and avoid incorrect words. Start with a direct answer, give a clear reason, and add one specific example. Avoid vague phrases like ‘patriotic character’ without explaining what you mean. Keep it within 1–2 sentences.

例: I prefer views in my own country because I feel a strong connection to its landscapes and culture. For example, I love photographing traditional villages and coastal scenes at home that remind me of my family and childhood.

× Yes, I do like taking pictures of different scenery because.

✓ Yes, I like taking pictures of different scenery because it relaxes me.

The original sentence is a fragment ending with 'because' and lacks a main clause to complete the reason. Also 'do like' is unnecessary for simple preference. Suggest completing the thought and using the simple present 'like' for habitual preference.

× It's one of my hobby and taking pictures in different locations such as uh in the forest, mountains or in.

✓ It's one of my hobbies, and I like taking pictures in different locations such as forests and mountains.

Use the plural noun 'hobbies' with 'one of my' and parallel structure for the second clause. Remove filler words ('uh') and complete the list without a trailing 'in'. Use plural forms for general locations (forests, mountains).

× I do prefer views in UH in uh rural areas since uh I grew up in a in a simple town where there are a lot of large green area.

✓ I prefer views in rural areas since I grew up in a simple town where there are a lot of large green areas.

'I do prefer' is acceptable but unnatural; use simple present 'prefer'. Remove filler 'uh' and extra articles. 'Area' should be plural 'areas' to agree with 'a lot of'. This fixes subject-verb agreement and pluralization issues.

× I do people reviews in my own country since I have a strong patriotic character. We're in a we're.

✓ I prefer landscapes in my own country because I have a strong patriotic feeling.

The original sentence contains incorrect words ('do people reviews') and an unfinished fragment ('We're in a we're.'). Replace with a clear, complete sentence: 'prefer landscapes' fits the question, and 'patriotic feeling' expresses the intended meaning. Ensure sentences are complete and coherent.