Views— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be more concise and complete sentences. Start with a clear topic sentence, avoid repetition, and provide one or two specific supporting details with linking words. Also correct small grammatical errors and finish thoughts (e.g., "share with my friends online").

例: Yes, I enjoy taking photos of different views, especially while travelling. For example, I often photograph city skylines or mountain scenes to remember the trip, and then I share select pictures with my friends online so they can see what I experienced.

提案: Give a clear topic sentence and expand with specific reasons using linking words. Correct grammar ("I prefer rural areas"), use plural nouns and articles where needed, and add one short example to make it natural.

例: I prefer rural views because I enjoy mountains, rivers and fresh air. For instance, when I visit the countryside I like walking by a river and taking photos of the surrounding hills, which feel more peaceful than busy streets.

提案: Form one clear sentence answering the question, then give two specific reasons linked with connectors. Avoid fragments and vague phrases; correct grammar ("I prefer views in other countries because they are unique"). Provide concise examples such as foods or cultural scenes.

例: I prefer views in other countries because long-distance travel often offers unique landscapes and cultures. For example, I enjoy photographing street markets abroad to capture local food stalls and traditional architecture, which I rarely see at home.

× It helps me remember the places I visited and I like to share my friends online.

✓ It helps me remember the places I visited and I like to share them with my friends online.

The original sentence misuses the verb 'share' by omitting the object and preposition. In English, you 'share something with someone.' Add the direct object 'them' (referring to pictures) and the preposition 'with' before 'my friends' to make the meaning clear and grammatical.

× I like to share my.

✓ I like to share them.

The fragment 'I like to share my.' lacks a noun object and is incomplete. Replace it with 'I like to share them.' where 'them' refers back to 'pictures.' This fixes the sentence structure and provides the required object.

× I prefer use like rural areas because I like mountain, river and fresh air.

✓ I prefer rural areas because I like the mountains, rivers, and fresh air.

The original contains wrong verb usage 'prefer use like' and missing articles and plural forms. 'Prefer' does not need 'use' or 'like' after it. Use plural nouns 'mountains' and 'rivers' when speaking generally, and include the definite article 'the' for natural features when referring to them as a group. Also add commas for list clarity.

× I prefer views in foreign countries I like.

✓ I prefer views in foreign countries.

The clause 'I like' is redundant and awkward here. The sentence 'I prefer views in foreign countries' already expresses preference. Removing the extra phrase corrects the structure and meaning.

× Long distance travel and its uniqueness.

✓ I enjoy long-distance travel and its uniqueness.

The original is a fragment lacking a verb; it reads as a noun phrase rather than a full sentence. Adding a verb like 'enjoy' completes the sentence and clarifies that the speaker appreciates long-distance travel and its unique aspects.

× I want to try different food, different person and umm.

✓ I want to try different foods and meet different people.

The original uses singular 'food' and 'person' where plural forms are natural for general experience. Also, 'meet different people' more accurately expresses encountering or interacting with people when traveling. Removing filler 'umm' yields a clearer sentence.