Travelling— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Improve grammar, fluency and coherence. Start with a clear topic sentence, avoid repetition, fix verb forms, and link ideas with a short reason. Keep it within 3–4 sentences. Be specific about why you enjoy looking out the window.

例: Yes, I usually look out of the window when I travel by bus or train because I enjoy seeing the changing landscapes. For example, I like watching countryside fields and small towns pass by since it helps me relax and notice local life. However, when I drive I focus on the road, so I rarely look around then.

提案: Work on sentence structure and clarity. Give a direct answer, then briefly explain when and why you take photos. Avoid repeating words and correct pronoun use. Use linking words like 'because' or 'so' to connect ideas.

例: Yes, I often take photos of the scenery outside the window because I enjoy capturing interesting views. For instance, I photograph mountain ridges and old villages when the light is good, so I can look back on the trip later. I rarely take selfies on these journeys because I prefer landscape shots.

提案: Clarify meaning and correct vocabulary and grammar. Start with a clear preference or say it depends, then give specific reasons linked to seasons. Use correct nouns ('sea', 'mountains') and explain what activities or conditions you like in each season.

例: It depends on the season. I prefer the sea in summer because I enjoy swimming and sunbathing, while I prefer the mountains in spring since the weather is mild and hiking trails are pleasant. Therefore my choice changes with the activities I want to do.

× Yeah, of course, when I traveling, yeah, I like it.

✓ Yeah, of course, when I travel, I like it.

The verb following 'when' should be in the base present form 'travel' for habitual actions. Use 'travel' to express regular/current habits rather than 'traveling' which would require auxiliary or different construction (e.g., 'when I am traveling').

× Look out the window at the scenery.

✓ I look out the window at the scenery.

This fragment lacks an explicit subject and verb form appropriate for the response. Adding 'I' makes it a complete declarative sentence matching the student's reply about their habit.

× Uh, especially if I get on the bus or train.

✓ Uh, especially when I get on the bus or train.

The original is not strictly wrong grammatically but 'when' is a more natural conjunction than 'if' for habitual situations. This is a tense/aspect choice rather than third-person error; adjusted to improve naturalness while keeping present tense.

× If I drive a car, I can't see scenery, but so I usually prefer to.

✓ If I drive a car, I can't see the scenery, so I usually prefer to take the bus or train.

Missing definite article 'the' before 'scenery' and awkward clause 'but so I usually prefer to.' Also the verb 'prefer' needs an object or infinitive: 'prefer to take the bus or train.' The sentence is made clear and grammatically complete for habitual present situations.

× Yeah, I usually do take a photo of the scenery outside.

✓ Yeah, I usually take a photo of the scenery outside.

Using 'do' for emphasis plus the base verb is acceptable, but unnecessary here. The normal present simple habit is 'I usually take,' so remove the auxiliary 'do' to sound natural.

× I don't usually like take a photo my by myself, so I usually take a photo it's over scenery outside.

✓ I don't usually like to take photos by myself, so I usually photograph the scenery outside.

Multiple issues: after 'like' use the infinitive 'to take' or the gerund 'taking.' 'Photo my by myself' is incorrect pronoun order; use 'by myself.' 'Take a photo it's over scenery outside' is ungrammatical — replace with 'photograph the scenery outside.' Also plural 'photos' fits habitual action.

× I really love it.

✓ I really love it.

This sentence is grammatically correct in present tense and needs no change. It appropriately expresses a present preference.

× I think it depends on season.

✓ I think it depends on the season.

Missing definite article 'the' before 'season' when speaking in general about seasons. Use 'depends on the season' to be grammatically correct.

× If I go to trouble in the summer I usually prefer to see,

✓ If I go somewhere in the summer, I usually prefer to go to the sea,

The original 'go to trouble' is incorrect; likely intended 'go to the seaside' or 'go somewhere.' 'Prefer to see' is incorrect; corrected to 'prefer to go to the sea.' Also added commas and 'the' where needed for natural phrasing.

× but if I go to mountain I usually prefer to spring.

✓ but if I go to the mountains I usually prefer springtime.

Use plural 'mountains' or 'the mountain' and add the definite article. 'Prefer to spring' is ungrammatical; correct expression is 'prefer springtime' or 'prefer going in spring.' Also maintain parallel structure for preferences.