Travelling— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Make your answer more concise and structured: start with a clear topic sentence, give one or two specific supporting details and a brief reason. Avoid redundancy and long clauses. Use linking words (for example, because, so, therefore) to connect ideas and limit to 3–4 sentences.

例: Yes, I usually look out of the window when I travel by bus or car. I enjoy observing landscapes and wildlife because most of my day is spent looking at screens. For example, on a recent trip I watched farmers working in the fields, which helped me relax and notice local life.

提案: Be more direct and add a specific reason and an example. Remove filler words (uh) and avoid repeating the same idea. Use a linking word to justify your preference.

例: No, I usually don't take photos of the scenery outside the window because I prefer to experience the moment directly. For instance, on a recent trip I watched a beautiful sunset instead of photographing it, and I felt more relaxed and present as a result.

提案: Answer the question directly with a clear topic sentence, then give a concise reason and a brief example. Saying you don't choose is fine, but explain why and give a comparison to show range of vocabulary and coherence.

例: I can't choose between mountains and the sea because both offer different experiences. For example, I like the mountains for hiking and fresh air, but I also enjoy the sea for swimming and relaxing on the beach, so I try to visit both when I travel.

× Well honestly I love seeing out of my windows at the scenery when I'm traveling by bus or a car because I think in normal days we spend our most of the time on screens and when we go out to travelling we should look out of our windows to learn about nature and many more things.

✓ Well, honestly I love looking out of my window at the scenery when I'm traveling by bus or car because I think on normal days we spend most of our time on screens, and when we go out to travel we should look out of our windows to learn about nature and many other things.

Errors: 'love seeing out of my windows' uses a noun 'seeing' awkwardly; use the present participle 'looking' after 'love' for natural phrasing. 'a car' is unnecessary after 'by' with a means of transport; use 'car' without an article. 'in normal days' should be 'on normal days' (preposition error). 'we spend our most of the time' has incorrect word order and article use; correct is 'we spend most of our time' (article/word order). 'go out to travelling' mixes 'to' with a gerund; correct form is 'go out to travel' or 'go travelling'. 'many more things' is vague; use 'many other things.' Suggestions: use 'love looking out of my window', remove unnecessary articles with transport, use correct prepositions ('on normal days'), fix word order for quantifiers, and choose the correct verb form after 'go out' ('to travel' or 'go travelling').

× Well no, that is not really part of my interest. I just love to see with my eyes and just not, uh, spend more time clicking pictures. And I just think we should just learn to enjoy the time without capturing the moment.

✓ Well, no, that is not really my interest. I just prefer to see with my eyes and not, uh, spend time taking pictures. I think we should learn to enjoy the time without trying to capture every moment.

Errors: 'part of my interest' is unnatural; use 'my interest' (article issue). 'love to see with my eyes' is awkward; 'prefer to see with my eyes' or 'like to see with my eyes' is more natural. 'spend more time clicking pictures' uses 'clicking pictures' (informal and nonstandard) and unnecessary 'more'; use 'spend time taking pictures.' 'learn to enjoy the time without capturing the moment' is slightly odd; better: 'enjoy the time without trying to capture every moment.' Suggestions: replace informal verbs like 'clicking' with 'taking', avoid redundant words like 'more/just', and choose natural collocations ('my interest', 'spend time').

× Honestly I'm I'm not a type of a person that would pick one option and these options so there is not a specific type.

✓ Honestly, I'm not the type of person who would pick one option over the others, so there isn't a specific preference.

Errors: 'I'm I'm' repeated (repetition error). 'not a type of a person' is incorrect article and word order; correct is 'not the type of person'. 'that would pick one option and these options' is unclear and ungrammatical; use 'who would pick one option over the others.' 'so there is not a specific type' should be 'so there isn't a specific preference' (article and noun choice). Suggestions: remove repetitions, use 'the type of person', replace 'that' with 'who' for people, and use clear comparative phrasing ('one option over the others', 'no specific preference').

× I just love to travel around the world to learn more new things.

✓ I just love to travel around the world to learn many new things.

Errors: 'learn more new things' is redundant and awkward ('more' and 'new' together). Use 'many new things' or 'more things' depending on intended meaning. Suggestions: choose one modifier ('many new things' to emphasize variety of new experiences, or 'learn more things' to emphasize quantity) and keep word order natural.