Travelling— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Make the answer more natural and concise. Start with a clear topic sentence, avoid redundant phrases, fix grammar (e.g. 'when I travel by bus or car'), and add one specific detail using a linking word to support your point.

例: Yes, I usually look out the window when I travel by bus or car. For example, I like watching changing landscapes, especially farmland and small towns, because they help me relax during long journeys.

提案: Be more precise with word choice and sentence structure. Use one clear topic sentence then a specific example or reason connected by a linking word (e.g. 'because' or 'so'). Avoid overly dramatic adjectives like 'overwhelming' unless clarified.

例: Yes, I often take photos of scenery from the car window because the light and clouds can look spectacular. For instance, last month I photographed a golden sunset over rolling hills and later added those pictures to my travel diary.

提案: Improve sentence structure and clarity. Give a direct topic sentence stating your preference, then use linking words (e.g. 'because' or 'so') to provide two specific reasons. Correct grammar and typos (e.g. 'de stress' -> 'de-stress', 'mounting summer' unclear). Keep it within 3–4 sentences.

例: I prefer the mountains to the sea because they feel more peaceful and help me de-stress. For example, I enjoy quiet hikes and cool air, which are more refreshing than crowded beaches during summer.

× Whenever I use roadway travelling by bus or a car, it is most likely that I would look out the window and enjoy the scenery outside.

✓ Whenever I travel by bus or car, I will most likely look out the window and enjoy the scenery outside.

The original sentence uses incorrect and unnecessary words: 'use roadway travelling' is ungrammatical and 'a car' is incorrect with 'by'. Replace with 'travel by bus or car'. Also 'it is most likely that I would' is awkward and mixes modal forms; use 'I will most likely' to match habitual future/likelihood. Suggestion: simplify phrases and use the correct preposition 'by' for modes of transport. Grammar problem type ID: 11

× When the landscape is overwhelming and the sky view is so beautiful, I always capture them and add them to my travel diary.

✓ When the landscape is overwhelming and the sky is so beautiful, I always capture it and add it to my travel diary.

The plural pronoun 'them' does not agree with the singular nouns 'landscape' and 'sky'. Use 'it' to refer to each singular scene or rewrite as plural: 'I always capture those views'. Also 'sky view' is unnatural; 'the sky' or 'the view of the sky' is better. Suggestion: ensure pronouns agree in number with their antecedents. Grammar problem type ID: 12

× Although both are equally enjoyable and breathtaking at the same time. But for me mountains always win the debate because they are so relaxing and whenever I have to travel somewhere and de stress myself mounting summer first option.

✓ Although both are equally enjoyable and breathtaking, for me mountains always win because they are so relaxing; whenever I have to travel somewhere and de-stress, mountains are my first choice in the summer.

The original contains a sentence fragment ('Although... at the same time.') followed by an unnecessary 'But' and many word-order and word-choice errors ('de stress myself mounting summer first option'). Fix by combining the clauses into a complete sentence, removing redundant connectors, and correcting vocabulary and order: 'de-stress' as a verb, 'mountains' as noun, 'first choice' as correct phrase, and place 'in the summer' at the end for clarity. Suggestion: avoid starting a sentence with 'Although' unless followed by its main clause; keep connectors consistent and use correct collocations. Grammar problem type ID: 26}]}README: The JSON above provides corrections and explanations for sentences in the transcript.}