Travelling— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Your answer is relevant and natural, with a clear topic sentence and an example. To improve, shorten slightly to avoid minor redundancy, add one linking word for coherence, and include a more specific detail (a concrete example of a scene or what you notice). Keep answers under five sentences.

例: Yes, I often look out of the window when travelling by bus or car because I find it relaxing and it helps me pass the time. For example, I enjoy watching the changing cityscapes—old markets and narrow alleys—which gives me ideas for photography and helps me notice architectural details I miss on foot.

提案: The answer addresses the question but contains many grammatical errors and unclear phrases that reduce clarity. To improve: correct grammar (subject-verb agreement, plural/singular), remove confusing words, add a linking word (e.g., 'so' or 'because'), and give one specific clear example of a photo you took. Keep it concise and natural.

例: Yes, I often take photos of the scenery outside the car window, especially when I see rolling hills or coastal views. For example, on a recent road trip I photographed golden fields at sunset because the light made the colors dramatic, and I later shared the picture with friends.

提案: The answer is unclear due to missing words and confusing sentences. To improve: state your preference directly (mountains or sea), use clear linking words (e.g., 'because' and 'for example'), correct vocabulary (e.g., 'sea' and 'sound of waves'), and give a specific activity or reason. Keep it within three sentences for clarity.

例: I prefer the sea because the sound of the waves and the cool sea breeze relax me after a busy week. For example, I enjoy long walks on the beach and swimming in the ocean, which help me unwind.

× 'Yes, I often take photos of the scenery outside the car windows, especially when the landscapes is strings such as rolling hills or coastal views.'

✓ 'Yes, I often take photos of the scenery outside the car window, especially when the landscapes are striking, such as rolling hills or coastal views.'

'car windows' should be singular 'car window' to match the general reference to the vehicle window; 'landscapes is strings' contains plural subject with singular verb and a wrong adjective: 'landscapes' (plural) must take the plural verb 'are', and 'strings' is incorrect — likely meant 'striking'. Suggestion: ensure noun number matches the verb and choose the correct adjective (striking).'

× 'For example, on road trips I like to keep changing light and wood and clubbed for my show because then remind me to of the journey and are easily to share with friends.'

✓ 'For example, on road trips I like to capture changing light and woods for my photos because they remind me of the journey and are easy to share with friends.'

'keep changing light and wood and clubbed for my show' is ungrammatical and mixes forms; 'like to keep capture' should be 'like to capture'; 'wood' should be plural 'woods' if referring to trees; 'clubbed for my show' is unclear and replaced by 'for my photos'; 'then remind me to of the journey' has wrong pronoun and extra particle — should be 'they remind me of the journey'; 'are easily to share' uses incorrect adjective/adverb and structure — correct is 'are easy to share'. Use simple present for habits and correct verb forms.'

× 'I prefer to see because I find the sound of S and the sort of breeze very relaxing, which helps me and good after a busy week.'

✓ 'I prefer the sea because I find the sound of the waves and the sea breeze very relaxing, which helps me feel good after a busy week.'

'prefer to see' is wrong verb/object: 'prefer the sea' or 'prefer to see the sea'; 'sound of S' is unclear — likely 'sound of the waves'; 'the sort of breeze' is awkward — use 'the sea breeze'; 'which helps me and good' has missing verb 'feel' and wrong adjective placement — correct is 'helps me feel good'. Ensure correct noun choice and complete clauses.'

× 'For example, I enjoy a long walk on the beach and swimming activities.'

✓ 'For example, I enjoy taking long walks on the beach and going swimming.'

'a long walk on the beach and swimming activities' mixes noun phrases and is stylistically awkward. Use parallel gerund phrases 'taking long walks' and 'going swimming' to show two activities clearly. This keeps sentence structure consistent and natural.'

× 'I really do it during the mountains.'

✓ 'I really don't do it in the mountains.'

'I really do it during the mountains' has subject-verb and meaning problems: likely intended negative 'don't' and wrong preposition 'during the mountains' should be 'in the mountains'. Also 'do it' is vague; in context it contrasts preference for sea activities, so full corrected phrase is 'I really don't do it in the mountains.' Ensure subject-verb agreement and correct preposition.'