Travelling— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Câu trả lời tự nhiên nhưng có vài lỗi ngữ pháp nhỏ và một số chỗ thừa từ hoặc thiếu sự mạch lạc. Cần sửa lỗi động từ (It’s really helps → it really helps), làm rõ cụm từ bị viết tắt (busy St.), tránh lặp ý (unwind / switch off cùng nghĩa) và giới hạn độ dài tối đa 4–5 câu. Nên bắt đầu bằng câu chủ đề rõ ràng, sau đó thêm 1–2 chi tiết cụ thể liên kết bằng từ nối.

例: Yes, I usually look out of the window when I travel by bus or car. I find watching the scenery helps me relax after work, especially when the view changes from busy streets to open fields. For instance, I often notice small shops and then wide green meadows, which makes the journey feel calming.

提案: Nội dung rõ ràng nhưng có lỗi ngữ pháp và cách diễn đạt chưa chính xác (e.g. 'in the pictures usually come out blurry', 'stop subway safe'). Cần câu chủ đề ngắn, sửa cấu trúc câu để rõ nguyên nhân và kết luận, dùng liên từ hợp lý. Thêm ví dụ cụ thể và sử dụng từ vựng phù hợp (blurred, pull over/stop safely).

例: Sometimes I want to take photos from the window, but I avoid it because photos taken from a moving vehicle are often blurred and it can be unsafe. If I see a great scene, I prefer to pull over safely or wait until I get out to take a clear picture.

提案: Ý kiến tốt nhưng câu bị rời rạc, nhiều mảnh câu chưa hoàn chỉnh ('Noise.', 'Breezy.') và lặp nghĩa. Cần một câu chủ đề rõ ràng, hai đoạn ngắn có liên từ để so sánh (On the other hand, ...), tránh cụm từ thừa ('in the sea' khi nói về thời gian trên bãi biển). Thêm chi tiết cụ thể và kết luận ngắn gọn.

例: I like both, but for different reasons. In the mountains I enjoy the fresh air, vibrant colours and quiet atmosphere because there are fewer people. On the other hand, the sea gives a relaxed, open feeling and I love spending time on the beach with friends and family, swimming or walking along the shore.

× Looking out at the windows helps me unwind after a long day at work and I really enjoy watching how the view changes from busy St. to open fields.

✓ Looking out of the window helps me unwind after a long day at work, and I really enjoy watching how the view changes from busy streets to open fields.

The student used plural 'windows' and abbreviated 'St.' which is unclear; context implies general action so use singular 'window' or 'out of the window' and 'streets' is the correct full form. Also added a comma before the conjunction for clarity. Suggestion: use 'looking out of the window' or 'looking out the window' and write place names fully.

× It's really helps me switch off for a while.

✓ It really helps me switch off for a while.

The original uses both 'It is' contraction and the verb 'helps' causing a redundant auxiliary and main verb combination. Correct form is either 'It's really helping me' or 'It really helps me'. For a habitual effect use present simple 'It really helps me'.

× To be honest, I sometimes want to take photos of the scenery outside the car window, but I avoid doing it because it can be dangerous in the pictures usually come out blurry.

✓ To be honest, I sometimes want to take photos of the scenery outside the car window, but I avoid doing it because it can be dangerous and the pictures usually come out blurry.

The sentence has a missing conjunction and incorrect clause connection ('dangerous in the pictures...'). Fix by adding 'and' to link ideas and placing 'usually' before 'come out' for natural word order. Suggestion: split into two sentences if needed: '...because it can be dangerous. The pictures usually come out blurry.'

× If I really want a good shot, I prefer to stop subway safe and take my time to enjoy and photograph the landscape.

✓ If I really want a good shot, I prefer to stop somewhere safe and take my time to enjoy and photograph the landscape.

The phrase 'stop subway safe' is ungrammatical. Likely intended 'stop somewhere safe' or 'stop safely'. Use 'somewhere safe' as a noun phrase to indicate a safe place. Also keep parallel structure 'enjoy and photograph' is acceptable.

× When I'm in the mountains I love the colours, the fresh air and the green views and it's peaceful because there are fewer people and you are away from the city. Noise.

✓ When I'm in the mountains I love the colours, the fresh air and the green views, and it's peaceful because there are fewer people and you are away from the city; there is less noise.

The original fragments 'you are away from the city. Noise.' are disjointed. Combine into one coherent sentence and use 'less noise' (uncountable) rather than a fragmented noun. Suggestion: use a semicolon or separate sentences to join related ideas.

× At the sea, I prefer the open, relaxing feeling and I enjoy spending time on the beach with my friends and family in the sea. Breezy.

✓ At the sea, I prefer the open, relaxing feeling and I enjoy spending time on the beach with my friends and family; it is breezy there.

The phrase 'with my friends and family in the sea. Breezy.' is fragmented and ambiguous. Clarify by stating 'it is breezy there' and connect the ideas with proper punctuation. Suggestion: avoid sentence fragments and ensure each clause has a subject and verb.