Travelling— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Improve grammar (verb forms and prepositions), clarity and coherence. Start with a clear topic sentence, use correct verb tenses and prepositions, and limit to up to 4–5 concise sentences. Add one or two specific details (how often, what you notice) using linking words like 'because' or 'and'.

例: Yes, I usually look out of the window when I travel. I fly back to Japan from New Zealand about once a week, so I often watch the clouds and the changing weather from the plane. I find it relaxing because I can see different landscapes and think about my plans.

提案: Correct verb forms and word choice, be specific about what you photograph and why. Use one clear topic sentence and one or two supporting details connected by linking words like 'and' or 'so'. Avoid irrelevant or unclear phrases.

例: Yes, I often take photos of scenery from the window. I usually photograph interesting buildings and landscapes, and then I send the pictures to my family so we can share what I see and talk about it.

提案: Start with a direct answer, then give one or two clear, specific reasons using linking words like 'because' and 'for example'. Correct tense errors and avoid fragmented sentences. Keep to 3–4 sentences for clarity.

例: I prefer the sea because I grew up visiting the seaside as a child. For example, my family often went to the beach, and I enjoy swimming and watching the waves. Although Japan has famous mountains like Mount Fuji, the sea feels more relaxing to me.

× Yes I do, I always looking out the window when I riding on fame because I usually lighting on plane once a week because back to Japan from New Zealand and also I enjoy to watching outside such as weather.

✓ Yes, I do. I am always looking out the window when I ride in a car because I usually fly by plane once a week to go back to Japan from New Zealand, and I also enjoy watching the weather outside.

Multiple errors: 'always looking' needs a helping verb for continuous tense (use 'am always looking') or simple present 'always look' depending on meaning; this falls under verb + -ing form. 'I riding' is incorrect because a form of 'to be' is required with -ing; correct to 'I ride' (simple present) or 'when I am riding' (continuous). 'On fame' appears to be a mistaken word; I inferred 'in a car' or similar and corrected to 'in a car'. 'Lighting on plane' is incorrect verb and preposition usage; corrected to 'fly by plane' (use verb 'fly' and preposition 'by') which addresses verb form and preposition. 'Back to Japan from New Zealand' needs 'to go back to Japan from New Zealand' for clarity (verb required). 'Enjoy to watching' is incorrect: verb 'enjoy' should be followed by verb + -ing ('enjoy watching'). Suggestion: choose consistent tense (simple present for habitual actions) and use correct auxiliary verbs with -ing forms. Maintain subject-verb structures and use correct verbs for actions (ride, fly, watch).

× Yes I do. I always taking photo of the bill and after taking the photo I usually send the photo for my family and then I'm coming trying to communication with my families.

✓ Yes, I do. I always take photos of the view, and after taking the photos I usually send them to my family, and then I try to communicate with my family.

Errors: 'always taking' should be simple present 'always take' for habitual action (verb + -ing form misused). 'Photo of the bill' is likely wrong vocabulary; corrected to 'photos of the view' to match context. 'Send the photo for my family' uses wrong preposition; use 'send them to my family' (preposition and pronoun correction). 'I'm coming trying to communication' is ungrammatical: mixed continuous and infinitive forms; corrected to 'I try to communicate' (simple present for habitual action and correct verb 'communicate'). Also 'families' was incorrectly plural when referring to one family; use 'family'. Suggestions: use simple present for routines, use gerund after 'after', and choose correct prepositions and pronouns.

× I prefer the sea because when I was kids I always going to the sea.

✓ I prefer the sea because when I was a kid I always went to the sea.

Errors: 'when I was kids' is incorrect number and article; should be 'when I was a kid' (singular). 'I always going' is wrong tense/form; for a past habitual action use simple past 'I always went'. This matches past time reference 'when I was a kid'. Suggestion: match tense to time expressions and use correct singular/plural forms with articles.

× Northern mountain.

✓ In the north there are mountains.

Original fragment 'Northern mountain.' is not a complete sentence (missing verb and article). I supplied a full sentence to convey the likely meaning that there are mountains in the north. Suggestion: write complete sentences with subject and verb and use proper articles and number.

× We have the mountain in Japan. It is Mount Fuji.

✓ We have a mountain in Japan. It is Mount Fuji.

Using 'the mountain' implies a specific mountain already known; better to use 'a mountain' when introducing Mount Fuji. Use 'a' for mentioning one among possible mountains before naming it. Suggestion: use indefinite article when introducing something new, then use 'the' once it is specified.

× But I like sea more than Mountain Fuji, so I prefer the sea.

✓ But I like the sea more than Mount Fuji, so I prefer the sea.

Errors: 'sea' needs the definite article 'the' when referring to the sea in general. 'Mountain Fuji' has incorrect word order and form; the correct proper name is 'Mount Fuji'. Comparison is fine but use correct nouns. Suggestion: use proper noun order for named mountains and include 'the' before 'sea'.