Travelling— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Improve grammar, pronunciation and conciseness. Start with a clear topic sentence, correct verb forms and prepositions, and avoid repetition. Use one or two supporting details linked with a connector (e.g., because or so).

例: Yes, I often look out of the window when I travel by bus or car because it makes the journey less boring. For example, I enjoy watching people and buildings pass by, which helps me relax and makes the time go faster.

提案: Use correct tense and reduce hesitations. Give a direct answer, then explain briefly with a clear reason using linking words. Correct collocations (e.g., ‘take photos’, ‘while travelling’) and avoid repeated words.

例: Sometimes I do take photos of interesting scenes outside the car, but I find it difficult because the movement makes it hard to hold the camera steady. Therefore, I usually wait until the car stops or use my phone’s stabilizer mode.

提案: Answer clearly with correct vocabulary and fewer hesitations. Begin with a direct statement of preference, then give two specific reasons linked by words like ‘because’ or ‘for example’. Use correct word forms (e.g., ‘the sea’, ‘activities’, ‘sunbathe’).

例: I prefer the sea because there are more activities to enjoy. For example, you can go swimming, sunbathe on the beach, or play beach volleyball with friends, which makes a seaside trip very fun.

× Yes I do it all the time.

✓ Yes, I do that all the time.

The sentence uses present simple but omits a demonstrative pronoun for clarity. Replace 'it' with 'that' and add a comma after 'Yes' for natural rhythm.

× I live look out of the window while traveling either Basel car because it helped me feel less bored and also it's helped to pass the time more quickly.

✓ I always look out of the window while traveling by car because it helps me feel less bored and also helps pass the time more quickly.

Multiple errors: 'I live look' is incorrect word choice and order; use 'always look' for habitual present. Use 'by car' not 'Basel car'. Use present simple 'helps' to match habitual action rather than past 'helped'. Remove redundant 'it' before 'helps' and 'to' before 'pass'.

× Yes, I did sometime I took umm photos of something that I find it interesting outside the car while traveling.

✓ Yes, sometimes I took photos of things that I found interesting outside the car while traveling.

Tense and word form inconsistencies: use 'sometimes' instead of 'sometime' and keep past tense consistently with 'took' and 'found'. Change 'something that I find it interesting' to 'things that I found interesting' for correct agreement and pluralization.

× But I find it sometime a bit difficult to to take even a quick choice because the car ride the car driving it's it's hard to hold the camera.

✓ But I sometimes find it a bit difficult to even take a quick photo because during the car ride it's hard to hold the camera.

Awkward word order and repetition: use 'sometimes' and place adverbs properly ('find it a bit difficult to even take'). 'Choice' is wrong word — use 'photo'. Remove repeated words 'the car ride the car driving it's it's' and condense to 'during the car ride it's'.

× I personally prefer to see because there are more activity for you to to Joyce.

✓ I personally prefer the sea because there are more activities for you to enjoy.

Wrong word 'see' should be 'sea' (homophone). Use plural 'activities'. 'to to Joyce' contains repetition and wrong word 'Joyce' should be 'enjoy'. Use present simple 'prefer' consistent with general preference.

× For instance, you can go swimming, sun bath or enjoy playing, uh, beach ball with your friends.

✓ For instance, you can go swimming, sunbathe, or play beach ball with your friends.

Parallel verb forms needed: use 'swimming', 'sunbathe' (verb), and 'play' (verb). 'Sun bath' is a noun; change to verb 'sunbathe'. Remove filler 'uh' and reorder to keep parallel structure.