Travelling— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Make the response more natural and concise: start with a direct topic sentence answering the question, then add one supporting detail with a linking word. Avoid irrelevant phrase structures (e.g. "Ask a girl who..."). Keep to at most 3–4 short sentences.

例: Yes, I do look out the window when I travel by car. As someone who loves photography, I often try to capture interesting scenes, so I pay close attention to landscapes and light. Because of this, I rarely miss a view worth photographing.

提案: Provide a complete, grammatically correct reason and use a linking word to connect ideas. Be specific about what you photograph and why. Avoid sentence fragments and awkward phrasing like "because."

例: Yes, I often take photos through the car window because the changing light and unexpected scenes inspire me. For example, I like to photograph dramatic clouds, colourful fields, or reflections in puddles, which help me feel calm and energized.

提案: Start with a clear preference or say you like both, then give specific contrasting reasons using linking words (e.g. "because", "while", "however"). Make sure subject-verb agreement is correct and keep sentences concise.

例: I like both, but if I had to choose I would pick the mountains because they offer fresh, crisp air and great hiking opportunities. Meanwhile, the sea is relaxing because the sound of waves helps me feel peaceful.

× Ask a girl who loves photography.

✓ Ask a girl who loves photography.

This sentence is fragmentary and unclear in context but does not contain a pronoun error; however it functions as an imperative that does not fit the conversation. Keep as a full response to the question by removing it or replacing with a clear statement such as 'I am a girl who loves photography.' Suggestion: use a complete subject-verb structure to match the dialogue context.

× I always capture the moments the scenery whenever I travel.

✓ I always capture moments of the scenery whenever I travel.

The original sentence contains an unnecessary definite article 'the' before 'moments' and a missing preposition 'of' to link 'moments' and 'the scenery', causing a sentence structure problem. Use 'capture moments of the scenery' for a natural, grammatical phrase.

× So yes, I do look out the window at the scenery when traveling by car.

✓ So yes, I do look out the window at the scenery when traveling by car.

This sentence is grammatically correct for habitual present action. No change needed; keep present simple with 'do' for emphasis. Suggestion: maintain consistent American or British spelling for 'traveling/travelling'.

× As a girl who loves capturing moments, I do take photos of the scenery outside the car window because.

✓ As a girl who loves capturing moments, I do take photos of the scenery outside the car window.

The sentence ends with an unfinished subordinate clause introduced by 'because' without completing the reason. Remove 'because' or add a complete clause explaining the reason. Suggestion: either end the sentence as corrected or complete it: '...outside the car window because I want to keep memories of the places I visit.'

× The beautiful scenery gives me a calm and energy.

✓ The beautiful scenery gives me calm and energy.

Using the definite article 'a' before 'calm' is incorrect when 'calm' is an uncountable noun here. Remove 'a' to correctly express the abstract feelings. Alternatively use countable nouns: 'a sense of calm and energy.' Suggestion: choose 'calm and energy' or 'a sense of calm and energy.'

× I love both, for the mountains gives me fresh air while the sea waves gives me calm and peace.

✓ I love both, for the mountains give me fresh air while the sea waves give me calm and peace.

Subject-verb agreement is incorrect: 'mountains' and 'waves' are plural and should take plural verbs 'give' not 'gives'. This falls under quantifier/subject number causing verb agreement errors. Suggestion: ensure verb agrees with plural subjects: 'mountains give', 'waves give'.