Travelling— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be more direct and natural. Start with a clear topic sentence, avoid repetition and unclear phrases, and keep to 2–4 sentences. Use linking words to connect ideas and give specific details (when, why, what you notice). Fix grammar (articles, word order, verb forms).

例: Yes, I often look out of the window when I travel by bus or car because I find it relaxing. For example, I like to watch changing landscapes and city streets while listening to music, which helps me unwind after a busy day.

提案: Give a clear direct answer and one brief reason with a specific detail. Avoid contradictory fragments and make sentences grammatical. Use linking words like 'because' to explain your preference.

例: No, I usually don't take photos from the car window because the pictures are often blurred and I prefer to enjoy the view with my eyes. For instance, when I'm on a moving bus the scenery changes too quickly to get a good shot.

提案: Answer directly, then give a clear reason and a specific example. Avoid repeating words and improve grammar (singular/plural, articles). Use linking words (however, because, therefore) correctly.

例: I prefer the mountains because I enjoy hiking and exploring trails. For example, I like trekking to viewpoints and camping overnight, which I find more appealing than beaches since I haven't had many opportunities to visit the sea.

× Yes I do because it makes the amazing things in my my mind while I relax for my life.

✓ Yes, I do because it makes me imagine amazing things while I relax.

The original sentence misuses adjectives/adverbs and has awkward phrasing. 'Makes the amazing things in my my mind' is ungrammatical; use 'makes me imagine amazing things'. 'For my life' is unnecessary. Also remove the repeated 'my'. Add a comma after 'Yes'. Suggestion: Use 'make someone do something' + verb (imagine), avoid redundant phrases.

× Actually when I listen to music and by the in the bus or a car I listen music and watch the outside.

✓ Actually, when I listen to music on the bus or in a car, I listen to music and watch the outside scenery.

Prepositions were incorrect: use 'on the bus' and 'in a car'. 'By the in the bus' is wrong. Also 'listen music' is missing the preposition 'to' (listen to music). 'Watch the outside' is vague; 'watch the outside scenery' is clearer. Add commas for clarity.

× Not much not I don't even.

✓ Not really. I don't take many photos.

The original is ungrammatical and confusing. 'Not much not I don't even' lacks proper sentence structure. Clarify meaning: likely the student means they do not take many photos. Use a simple negative response followed by a clear explanation.

× I don't think so.

✓ I don't think so.

This sentence is grammatically correct in present tense and fits the context, so no change is needed.

× It is interesting for me.

✓ It's not interesting to me.

Given the context where the student says they don't like that kind of thing, the intended meaning is negative. 'Interesting for me' is an awkward collocation; use 'interesting to me'. Because they dislike it, 'not interesting to me' conveys the intended meaning. Suggestion: Match sentence polarity to context.

× I don't like that kind of things.

✓ I don't like that kind of thing.

'Kind of' should be followed by a singular noun: 'that kind of thing'. Alternatively, use 'those kinds of things'. The original mixes singular 'kind' with plural 'things', which is incorrect.

× Well, both of them are great option for me, but I prefer mountains because I like traveling and trekking in the mountain, but I didn't even see the sea, therefore I prefer the mountains.

✓ Well, both are great options for me, but I prefer the mountains because I like traveling and trekking in the mountains. I haven't even seen the sea, so I prefer the mountains.

Multiple issues: 'both of them are great option' → need plural 'options' and 'both' doesn't require 'of them'. Use 'the mountains' with plural and consistent article. 'Trekking in the mountain' should be 'in the mountains' (plural). 'I didn't even see the sea' is wrong tense for an experience up to now; use present perfect 'I haven't even seen the sea'. Also split into two sentences and use 'so' or 'therefore' with appropriate punctuation. Suggestion: Keep noun number consistent and use present perfect for life experiences.