Travelling— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Improve grammar and sentence fluency: correct verb forms and reduce redundancy. Start with a clear topic sentence, then add one specific supporting detail using a linking word. Keep responses to no more than 3–4 short sentences.

例: Yes, I usually look out of the window when I travel by bus. I find the passing countryside very calming, especially green fields and small villages. For example, I often notice farmers working in the fields, which makes the journey feel peaceful.

提案: Make your reason clear and concise, fix repetition and article use. Give one specific reason and a brief example. Use linking words like 'because' or 'so' correctly and avoid repeating phrases.

例: No, I don't usually take photos of scenery because I prefer to experience the moment directly. For instance, when I travel I like to listen to the sounds and enjoy the view instead of stopping to take pictures.

提案: Clarify and vary vocabulary, correct small grammar mistakes, and use linking words to compare. Begin with a direct statement of preference, then give one or two specific reasons and a short contrast sentence.

例: I prefer the sea because I enjoy swimming and surfing, which are relaxing activities. In contrast, mountains usually require long hikes, and I don't enjoy strenuous walking, so beaches suit me better.

× When I take a bus, I usually look at the scenery of outside the window because I like watching them.

✓ When I take a bus, I usually look at the scenery outside the window because I like watching it.

Use of 'of outside the window' is incorrect preposition order; choose 'outside the window'. 'Scenery' is an uncountable noun and should be referred to with singular pronoun 'it' rather than 'them'. Improve by using correct preposition order and matching pronoun number.

× When I watching them, I feel very comfortable and calm because I like the nature.

✓ When I watch it, I feel very comfortable and calm because I like nature.

The clause should use the base form 'watch' after 'When I' (not 'watching'). 'Scenery' is uncountable so use 'it' or omit pronoun; 'the nature' is incorrect — 'nature' normally takes no article. Use simple present for habitual action.

× No, I don't take picture of the scenery because I don't like to take a picture when I go travel or go around.

✓ No, I don't take pictures of the scenery because I don't like to take pictures when I travel or go out.

Countable noun 'picture' needs plural 'pictures' when speaking generally. Also use 'take pictures of' and simpler verbs 'travel' and 'go out' instead of 'go travel' or 'go around'.

× I just want to feel the vibes at the time at the time, not the not the picture because.

✓ I just want to feel the vibes in the moment, not take pictures.

Original repeats phrases and has unfinished clause 'because.' 'At the time at the time' is redundant. Replace with 'in the moment' and finish idea concisely: 'not take pictures.'

× I prefer the sea because when I go to the sea I can do surf or swimming but when I go to mountain I have to do hiking but I really hate it so.

✓ I prefer the sea because when I go there I can surf or swim, but when I go to the mountains I have to hike, which I really hate.

Use correct verb forms: 'surf' and 'swim' (base verbs) rather than 'do surf or swimming'. Use plural 'mountains' or 'the mountain', and use 'hike' (base verb) rather than 'do hiking'. Reorganize the sentence to avoid trailing 'so' and to make the contrast clear.