Travelling— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be more concise and avoid repetition and hesitations. Start with a clear topic sentence, then give one or two specific details using linking words. Reduce filler words (uh, um, yeah) and minor grammar errors (e.g. 'by cars or bus' → 'by car or bus', 'for many times' → 'very often' or 'often').

例: Yes, I do. Although I don't travel by car or bus very often, I always try to look at the scenery when I can. For example, I enjoy watching mountains and rivers pass by because their colours and shapes relax me.

提案: Use standard vocabulary and clearer grammar: avoid colloquial contractions like 'wanna' in formal speaking and remove excessive fillers. Give a concise reason and, if possible, one contrasting comment (e.g. sometimes I do take photos). Link ideas with words like 'because' or 'so'.

例: Honestly, I usually don't take photos because I prefer to enjoy the view with my own eyes. However, if there is something unusual or especially beautiful, I might take a quick photo to remember it.

提案: Answer directly and clarify meaning — this reply is unclear and has grammatical errors ('prefer working on a bit' makes no sense). State your choice clearly, give reasons and a brief example. Use linking words (because, also, for example).

例: I prefer the sea to the mountains because I enjoy swimming and sunbathing. For example, on holiday I like to spend long afternoons at the beach relaxing and swimming in the water.

× I don't travel by cars or bus, uh, for many times, but when I have opportunities, I always look out for the scenery outside.

✓ I don't travel by car or by bus very often, but when I have the opportunity I always look out at the scenery outside.

Used plural 'cars' with 'by' and 'bus' without article and 'for many times' is unnatural. Replace 'cars or bus' with 'car or by bus', use singular 'car' after 'by', add 'very often' for frequency, and change 'opportunities' to the singular countable 'the opportunity' or 'opportunities' with 'have opportunities' altered to fit context. Also use 'look out at' or 'look out for' and keep consistent prepositions. Suggestion: use 'very often' for frequency and 'the opportunity' to sound natural.

× Yeah, I look at the landscape.

✓ Yeah, I look at the landscape.

This sentence is grammatically acceptable; 'look at' is the correct preposition for viewing scenery. No change required.

× I enjoy the mountain, the river outside.

✓ I enjoy the mountains and the rivers outside.

Singular 'the mountain' and 'the river' sound unnatural when speaking generally about scenery. Use plural 'mountains' and 'rivers' and connect with 'and'. Also 'outside' is redundant after 'rivers' but acceptable. Suggestion: use plural nouns for general statements about scenery.

× Yeah, it is so beautiful.

✓ Yeah, they are so beautiful.

Refers back to 'mountains' and 'rivers' (plural), so pronoun should be 'they' and verb 'are'. If referring to a singular scene, original could be fine. Suggest using plural agreement when referring to multiple features.

× To be honest, I actually wanna enjoy the scenery outside by my eyes, umm, because I want to feel the uh, natural, beautiful, uh, by from my soul.

✓ To be honest, I actually want to enjoy the scenery with my eyes because I want to feel the natural beauty from my soul.

Multiple issues: 'wanna' is informal; 'enjoy the scenery by my eyes' is incorrect preposition—use 'with my eyes'; 'natural, beautiful' should be 'natural beauty' (noun), and 'by from my soul' mixes prepositions—use 'from my soul'. Also avoid filler words. Suggest using 'want to' and correct noun forms.

× So I don't, I don't take the picture outside very often.

✓ So I don't take pictures outside very often.

Use plural 'pictures' for general frequency statements instead of singular 'the picture'. Also remove duplicated 'I don't'. Suggest: say 'I don't take pictures very often'.

× In my personal opinion, I prefer working on a bit than climbing the mountains because I'm swimming in the sea and sunbathing is one of my favorite hobbies.

✓ In my opinion, I prefer swimming and sunbathing at the sea to climbing mountains because swimming in the sea and sunbathing are some of my favorite hobbies.

Original mixes expressions incorrectly: 'prefer working on a bit' is nonsensical and 'prefer ... than' should be 'prefer X to Y'. Also 'I'm swimming in the sea' is awkward; use gerunds 'swimming' and 'sunbathing' consistently and plural 'mountains' without 'the' for general preference. Use 'are' to agree with plural hobbies. Suggest: 'I prefer swimming and sunbathing at the sea to climbing mountains.'