Building— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be more concise and accurate. Start with a clear topic sentence, then add one or two specific details using linking words. Correct grammar (plural nouns, articles) and smoother phrasing will improve clarity. For example, say where you live, mention the prevalence of tall buildings, and give a brief reason.

例: Yes. I live in New York, so there are many tall buildings near my home. Because it’s a densely populated city with limited land, most accommodations are high-rise apartments.

提案: Answer directly, then give a concise reason and one specific example. Avoid filler words and repetition. Use linking words such as 'because' or 'so' to connect ideas and give a clear preference.

例: Not really. I prefer photographing nature because I enjoy sunsets and forests more than man-made structures. For example, I often take photos of sunsets at the riverbank.

提案: Provide a clear topic sentence, correct grammar (plural agreement, articles), and a brief reason why you want to visit. Mention one or two specific features that attract you to the place.

例: I would like to visit Wall Street. Although it’s a street rather than a single building, I’m curious about its financial history and the lively atmosphere around the stock exchanges.

提案: Start with a direct answer (yes/no) then give specific reasons using linking words. Correct tense and word choice (prefer → prefer, 'takes much time' → 'takes more time') and remove repetition. Mention one concrete advantage and one disadvantage of tall buildings.

例: No, I don’t. I prefer living in a low-rise house because it’s easier to go outside quickly. Also, my friends who live in tall apartments say it often takes more time to use elevators.

× Yes, there are many because I live in New York kind of relatively a big stations, it's very crowded city. So for the accommodations, yeah, there are many tall building.

✓ Yes, there are many because I live in New York, which is a relatively large city and very crowded. So for accommodations, there are many tall buildings.

Multiple issues: incorrect sentence structure, incorrect word choice ('stations' instead of 'city'), missing articles, and singular/plural mismatch. Combine clauses with 'which' for clarity, use 'relatively large city' instead of 'kind of relatively a big stations', add commas, and pluralize 'building' to 'buildings'. Suggestion: simplify: 'I live in New York, which is a relatively large and very crowded city.'

× I don't think I take the take photo of the building.

✓ I don't think I take photos of buildings.

Awkward phrase and article use: 'the take photo of the building' is ungrammatical. Use plural 'photos' and 'buildings' for general habits and omit 'the'. Suggestion: use simple present for habits: 'I don't think I take photos of buildings.'

× I rather take.

✓ I'd rather not.

Fragment and incorrect expression. 'I rather take' is incomplete. Use 'I'd rather not' or 'I prefer not to' to express preference. Suggestion: finish the sentence to make clear the intended meaning.

× I prefer taking like natural objects like, uh, sunset or forest or yeah, something like that.

✓ I prefer taking photos of natural things like sunsets or forests.

Use plural nouns for general examples ('sunsets', 'forests') and remove filler 'like' duplication. 'Taking photos of' is correct gerund phrase; ensure noun agreement. Suggestion: 'I prefer taking photos of natural scenes, like sunsets or forests.'

× It's not a building, but the street where the building are standing, which is the New York Street, Wall Street.

✓ It's not a building, but the street where the buildings are located, Wall Street in New York.

Subject-verb agreement with 'buildings are' (plural), and preposition choice: use 'located' instead of 'standing'. Also reorder to a more natural phrasing and remove 'the New York Street' which is incorrect. Suggestion: 'It's not a building; it's the street where the buildings are located: Wall Street in New York.' },{

× That's that's where I really want to visit.

✓ That's where I really want to visit.

Repetition 'That's that's' is a speech disfluency; remove duplicate. The sentence is otherwise correct. Suggestion: say 'That's where I really want to visit.'

× Well since I'm living a house right now, I preferred living in in such like low house because it very easy to get outside and I heard my friends living in the tall apartment takes many time to get.

✓ Well, since I'm living in a house right now, I prefer living in a low house because it's very easy to go outside, and I heard my friends living in tall apartments take a long time to get out.

Multiple tense and agreement issues: use 'living in a house' (preposition needed), 'prefer' (present tense for current preference) instead of 'preferred', 'a low house' is awkward but acceptable; use 'it's' contraction and 'go outside' or 'get out', plural agreement: 'friends... apartments take' and 'a long time' instead of 'many time'. Suggestions: correct prepositions, use consistent present tense for habits/preferences, ensure subject-verb agreement and natural collocations: 'take a long time to get out.'